Written by me…
Inspired by… Lord of the Rings
Stuff taken from… everywhere…
Lord of the Things
The Fellowship of the Thing
Narrator: Bilbo had been out walking all day and now his feet were killing him. But he didn’t mind. He was too exited. It was his birthday tomorrow. He was turning 111 years old. His favourite nephew, Frodo, was turning thirty-three, an important number: the date of his “coming of age.” He walked up to Bag-End and opened the door. As he did, all his friends jumped out from behind the door and yelled: “SURPRISE!!!” Bilbo got so surprised he fell down.
Bilbo: What kind of nonsense is this?
Frodo: It’s a surprise birthday party for you.
Bilbo: But that is not until tomorrow.
Gandalf: Oh no. Frodo helped us there.
Bilbo: GANDALF! Old friend (shouts)
Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins, after all these years. You haven’t aged a day…
Bilbo: Ehe. Can’t imagine why…
Frodo: But come now. We have much to celebrate. Gandalf have the whole town in an up raw.
Bilbo: Well then. Let’s go.
Narrator: And so everybody left for the party tree. There they had a good time. There were food and drinks, and after that dancing. Frodo was sitting with his good friend Samwise Gamgee, who was very in love with the bar-maid Rosie, and now when he had the chance, he was to shy to talk to her.
Frodo: Go on, son. Ask Rosie for a dance.
Sam: Maybe I’ll just have another ale.
Frodo: Oh no, you. Dance!
Narrator: After pushing Sam into Rosie’s arms, he watched the fireworks. And that was quickly followed by speech-time. Bilbo stepped on to a table and waited till everybody was quiet.
Bilbo: My dear Bagginess and Boffins. And my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowers, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Griffindors, Ravenclows, Hufflepuffs, Slitherins, Brockhouses, Blockheads, Lawnmowers and Proundfoots. All I wanted to say it that I’m very fond of you all, and that eleventy-one years is much to short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits.
(CHEERS!!)
I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
(SILENCE!)
I regret to announce that this is the end. I’m going now. Goodbye.
Narrator: And then Bilbo jumped of the table and ran into the darkness. Frodo looked at Gandalf and said.
Frodo: I knew he was going before me, but not like this.
Gandalf: I am sorry, Frodo. Bilbo was always full of surprises. I never expected him to run of. But sit down, my friend, and have a drink. Drink to Bilbo’s health.
Narrator: And so Frodo sat down and hung his head in sorrow. But in a few seconds, Sam came running with a mug of ale.
Sam: Coming, Mr. Frodo.
Narrator: After Gandalf had busied himself with getting Frodo drunk, he snuck of. He walked slowly towards Bag-End. Knowing Bilbo, Gandalf knew he would take the long way home. He stepped in and sat down. After a few moments Bilbo came in too.
Bilbo: Gandalf, you came to see me off?
Gandalf: I wouldn’t miss it for the world. My dear friend. Have you arranged everything?
Bilbo: Yes. Frodo will get everything.
Gandalf: Everything?
Bilbo: Yes, everything.
Gandalf: OK. Then where is it?
Bilbo: It’s there on the mantelpiece.
Gandalf: Well, if it is, I can’t see it.
Bilbo: What? It’s gone? Oh, my lord, my precious. But if it’s gone, this whole book will be for nothing! Frodo won’t get to go on his adventure. Oh, damn and blast it all, my precious!
Gandalf: Oh, here it is. It had fallen down. The wind must have caught it.
Bilbo: Yeeeessss. Probably.
Gandalf: Well, Bilbo, you must be of.
Bilbo: No… I think I’ll take that Thing with me.
Gandalf: WHAT? Bilbo, we’ve talked about this. You were to leave it to Frodo so that he could get an adventure.
Bilbo: You… you want it for your self!
Gandalf: BILBO BAGGINS! Don’t take me for some cauldron of cheap tricks…conjuror of cheap tricks. I’m not trying to rob you; I’m trying to help you.
Narrator: As Gandalf talked he seemed to grow. But it didn’t last long. He shrivelled and became Gandalf again. Bilbo got very scared and needed a hug.
Gandalf: Trust in me as you once did. Now you’d better be of. You have a long journey to undertake.
Bilbo: You’re right. You will keep an eye on Frodo for me, won’t you?
Gandalf: Yes… Two eyes, as often as I can spare them.
Bilbo: Well, I’m leaving now. Oh, by the way. I thought of an ending for my book. “Like sands threw the hour-glass, so are the days of our lives.”
Gandalf: Sounds good. Farewell, Bilbo.
Bilbo: Farewell, Gandalf.
Narrator: Bilbo walked out the door and jumped over the hedge. As he did so, he started singing, “The road goes ever on and on,
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can.”
After he had disappeared out of view, Gandalf went back in and sat down in front of the fire. After an hour or so, Frodo came running threw the door, calling Bilbo’s name. When Bilbo didn’t answer, Frodo looked around and saw Gandalf. As he walked towards him, he called Gandalf’s name, but it didn’t seem to reach him. Gandalf was in his own little world, sitting patting on his pipe and talking to himself. Frodo went over to him.
Frodo: Gandalf? What have you done with Bilbo?
Narrator: But there was no response.
Frodo: Gandalf?
Narrator: Still no response.
Frodo: GANDALF??
Narrator: But still nothing.
Frodo: GAAANDAAALLFFFF!!!!
Narrator: Frodo yelled into Gandalf’s ear. That worked, Gandalf came to and shock his head.
Gandalf: Ohh… Where am I? Oh, Frodo. Thank you. It was really hard to leave my thoughts.
Frodo: Gandalf? Where is Bilbo? Did he leave without me?
Gandalf: I’m sorry, Frodo. But he had to leave. But he left you a Baggins… Bag-End… Along with all of his possessions.
Frodo: Even??
Gandalf: Even the Thing.
Frodo: WOW! I thought he’d never leave it to me. How does it work?
Gandalf: FRODO! Don’t you even dare to find out! The Thing is not for use.
Frodo: It’s not? Well, I’d better not use it then.
Gandalf: See to it that you don’t. But now I have to leave you. I have things to see to.
Frodo: You’re leaving so soon? But you just got here.
Gandalf: I know. But I need answers, answers to questions. So I have to go.
Frodo: Where to?
Gandalf: I don’t know yet, but I hope I found out when I get there.
Frodo: OK! But you be careful.
Gandalf: I always am.
Frodo: Goodbye, old friend.
Gandalf: Goodbye.
Narrator: And with those words, Gandalf disappeared into the night.
And so the time passed. A very long time passed, before Gandalf came back to Frodo. He told him to leave The Shire as soon as possible. He told Frodo that his Thing was what the Dark Lord was after. That he had had it once and he now wanted it back. The light was coming, so he had better take care. He also said he had to leave the name of Baggins behind, and use the name Underhill. And so after some thinking about it, Frodo moved. He sold Bag-End to his enemy, the Sackwell-Bagginseseses. Sam had decided to go with Frodo to his new house. Merry and a friend (Fatty Bolger) brought all of Frodo’s belongings to Creekhollow by cart. Frodo, Sam and Pippin had to walk the whole way to his new home.
They had been walking for some time when they suddenly came to a cliff, which Pippin fell down and nearly landed in horse-shit. When they got to his new house, the mask fell and his friends revealed that they knew all about his Thing and everything. They walked on, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin, into the fake forest.
Sam: This is so fake. You can see the seams and everything.
Narrator: That’s what I’m saying. Anyway, they walked on and met an old guy with a bright yellow hat and shoes. He said his name was Tom Bombadil, and since he was so kind to them, they decided to go home with him. From there they walked on, after he had bored them with old stories. They got kind off lost in the fog at the borrowed downs, and that old man came and helped them there. He also was kind enough to send them in the right direction to Bree and the Hopalong Horse. The four hoppits! Came to the gates of Bree and knocked on the door. And an old man opened for them. After walking threw the gates of Bree, the four hobbits looked for the sign of the Hopalong Horse. Luckily, they found it. When they stepped in to the Inn, they were amazed at how many people that was there. They went up to the counter, and felt that everybody was following them with their eyes.
Frodo: Excuse me.
Butterbur: Yes, little masters. What can I do you for?
Frodo: We are supposed to meet a friend of ours here. His name is Gandalf, mine is B… Underhill.
Butterbur: Right…Underhill. Gandalf, eh? Elderly chap, long flowing beard, pointy hat?
Frodo: Yes.
Butterbur: Never heard of him… But you’ll need a room. I have a nice hobbit sized room for you…. Underhill. My name is Barliman Butterbur, at your service. After settling in, please come and sit with us here in the pub.
Frodo: Thank you. Maybe we will.
Narrator: The four hobbits walked out of the pub and to their room, and as they locked the door behind them, the front door was opened and a man walked in. He stopped right on the inside and the music started to play. Everybody started to look around to see where the music was coming from.
Man: It’s like this every time I enter a room. I don’t know where it’s coming from, and its starting to get on my nerves!
Narrator: The man said and sat down in a corner. As he did so, he took out his pipe and lit it, and the music stopped. The four hobbits came out again and sat down at a table. Frodo felt very uneasy…like someone was watching him.
Sam: Mister Frodo? Are you alright?
Frodo: No Sam. I feel uneasy. Like someone is watching me.
Narrator: In the meantime Merry had been at the bar and gotten himself a pint from a good looking man.
Pippin: What is that?
Merry: This is a pint.
Pippin: It comes in pints?
Merry: Mmmmm.
Pippin: I’m getting one.
Sam: But you have half of one already.
Narrator: Frodo sat and looked at his mug of beer. He felt drowsy, so sleepy.
Sam: Hey, mister Frodo. That guy is checking you out.
Frodo: Who?
Sam: That man over there.
Frodo: Excuse me, Barliman. Who is that man over there?
Barliman: That’s one of them Ranger folk. Nasty people they are. If I were you, I’d steer clear of them, Mr. Underhill.
Narrator: Frodo went back to his drowsiness. In the back ground he could hear Merry and Pippin sing they’re drinking song.
Merry and Pippin: Hey ho, to the bottle I go.
To heal my heart and drown my woe.
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
But there still beeeee, many miles to go.
Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,
And the streams that falls from hill to plain.
But better than rain or rippling brook.
Pippin: Is a mug of beer inside this Took!
Narrator: All of a sudden Pippin started to spill his guts. Sam and Merry rushed over to stop him. Frodo got so excited, he fell to the floor. He watched the ceiling in amazement and awe at his stupidity. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, and it wasn’t Sam’s.
Man: I think you should be a little more careful, Mr. Underhill. I would like some more caution from you. Think about the thing you are carrying.
Frodo: I carry nothing.
Man: Yeah! RIGHT! Don’t you think I know who you are? I know what hunts you.
Narrator: The man had dragged Frodo into their room, and as he was talking he put out all the lights and kept walking around looking in the cupboards, in the drawers, behind the curtains and behind the door.
Frodo: Eh. Are you looking for something?
Man: I said. I know what hunts you!! Now, I know where you are.
Narrator: The man said as if to himself, as he walked slowly and quietly towards the bed.
Man: AHA!
Narrator: He shouted as he turned down the covers.
Man: I knew you were here!
Narrator: As he turned them down, nine black-dressed men stud up and started to sing.
Man: SHUT UP!
RW#1: We’re sorry we’re late. But we had to brake down the gate door before we could get in.
RW#2: Yeah. And the gatekeeper is quite flat.
Narrator: At that moment the door sprung open and in stormed Sam, Merry, and Pippin.
Sam: Master Frodo! How could you. And with ten stranger? Oh. Leave him alone, Longshanks!
Man: Okay, you lot. Out!
Narrator: The man said, and the nine men dressed in black walked out with their heads down. As they closed the door the stranger continued.
Man: You have a stout heart, little one. That will come in handy. But now we have to get on. I will take you to Rivendell.
Merry: Wait, wait, wait. We’re just supposed to come with you? No questions asked?
Man: That would help.
Pippin: Merry is right. We don’t even know who you are.
Man: Well, sit down and I will tell you. They call me Strider….
Narrator: In came the singing singer and started to sing a song.
All RW: Strider is a Ranger, he really is quite fun.
But when he gets real angry, you’d better turn and run.
They call him Strider, and he’s got nerves of steel.
And you can clearly see that he’s got sex-appeal.
Narrator: Strider turned and drew his sword, and with a mad yell, he ran after them. After a few minutes he came back and wiped of his sword.
Strider: I got four of them jokers. Well, I guess I don’t have to tell you anything. You heard the song.
Pippin: Put my mind at ease.
Merry: Mine too. Let’s go.
Narrator: And so they went to Rivendell, after spending one night, sleeping at the Hopalong Horse. In the morning before they left, Sam arranged a flower in a vase.
They got out of Bree, and Strider told them they had to cut country to get to Rivendell quickly, and so that the pesky singer wouldn’t find them. He took them threw the Midland Marshes. Everybody was getting fed up.
Merry and Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No.
Merry and Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No
Merry and Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: NO
Merry and Pippin: Are we there yet.
Strider: NO!
Merry and Pippin: Are we there yet??
Strider: NO!! And if you ask me that question one more time, I’m going to kick you from here to Mordor myself!!
Frodo: That’s not the worst part. What is making that annoying noise?
Sam: I don’t know. I just call them Neekerbreekers.
Neekerbreekers: Neek-breek
Neekerbreekers: Breek-neek
Narrator: Strider and the four hobbits had been walking for a long time before Strider turned to the other and said.
Strider: There is Weathertop. We will take shelter here for the night before we go on.
Narrator: The four hobbits and Strider had settled for the night. Frodo fell asleep right away, Strider went to find news, and the other three hobbits sat up swapping recipes.
Pippin: This is no good. I’m getting hungry. Let’s make some midnight snack.
Sam: Yeah. I have some sausages, some tomatoes and some bread. Merry, you can start the fire.
Narrator: Twenty minutes later the fire was lit and the food was cooking in the pan, and Frodo woke up.
Frodo: What are you doing? Put it out, you fools! Put it out! You saw what Strider had after him. Do you want them to find us up here?
Narrator: Right at that moment five dark clothed men jumped out of the dark, with their instruments and started playing and singing the Ranger song. They had gotten halfway into the first verse, when Strider came running out of the dark with his sword in one hand and a torch in the other.
Strider: I told you guys to leave me alone! Now f… off before I get really mad!
Narrator: But they started from the beginning again. And so, with a mad yell, Strider clubbed the first singer over the head. This started a panic amongst the other singers. One ran into Frodo and stung him with a poisoned guitar-string, and another ran in a circle saying.
RW#3: Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire.
Narrator: Over and over again. The rest tried to sing the rest of the song, but Strider ran after them swinging his sword. And they ran away.
Frodo had run off too, to hide, and was found later by Sam after they had searched long and hard for him.
Sam: Frodo, are you alright?
Frodo: Of course not, you twat. I’ve been stung by a poisoned guitar string. Oh, and by the way. AOCH!!!
Narrator: After much stress, they got Frodo into the Ford Escort, and they drove away. But they didn’t get far. They were almost in Rivendell when they ran into a deer.
Strider: D’OH!
Sam: A deer.
Merry: A female deer.
Narrator: They dragged Frodo out and laid him on the ground.
Sam: Frodo. Mr. Frodo, sir. You’re turning green. What have you been eating?
Strider: Sam. It’s the poison. It’s working its way to his heart. If we don’t find the athelas plant, Frodo will die.
Sam: What are you saying?
Strider: That he’ll be dead soon, if we don’t find the athelas plant.
Sam: But that’s a weed. There is no time for smoking now! My master is dying.
Strider: We’re not going to smoke it, you dweeb! Now go find it!
Narrator: Where upon Sam answered Thpppppppt tthhhhhhhhhhhhpppppt!! Strider took one of the horses from the engine out of it, and Sam named him Bill.
Strider: Excuse me, but I don’t want the name Bill. Anything but that.
Narrator: It wasn’t you he named Bill, it was the horse.
Strider: Well, say it then.
Narrator: Sorry! Strider took one of the horses from the engine out, and Sam named the horse Bill. Better?
Strider: Much better. You may continue.
Narrator: Thank you. Strider put Frodo on top of Bill, and they walked towards Rivendell. They stayed well away from the road, so that if those pesky musicians would come walking, they wouldn’t notice them. They had been walking for a while, when Frodo started to get worse again. They put him on the ground, and Strider went again to look for athelas. Suddenly he felt a sword on his neck as he bend down to pick some weed.
Arwen: What’s this? A ranger, caught of his guard?
Narrator: All Frodo saw was a beautiful, radiant woman coming towards him.
Arwen: Frodo, im Arwen. Telin le thaed. Lasto beth nîn… Tolo dan na ngalad.
Narrator: Suddenly, again, another elf came walking threw the woods. But the others didn’t notice him.
Strider: Dartho guin Beriain. Rych le ad tolthathon.
Arwen: Hom mabathon. Rochon ellint im.
Strider: Andelu I ven.
Arwen: Frodo fîr. Ae athradon I hîr, tûr gwaith nîn beriatha hon.
Strider: Be iest lîn.
Narrator: Now the elf in the wood took a step forward. Strider looked at him.
Glorfindel: Ai na vedui Dùnadan! Mae govannen!
Strider: Glorfindel! You came after all. I’m so glad to see you. But if you’re here, what is Arwen doing here?
Glorfindel: Don’t look at me. I didn’t sneak out of Rivendell against my fathers wishes!
Arwen: Oh! You tattletale! All I wanted to do was help. Try to make my father realise that I can take care of my self and my love.
Glorfindel: What ever! I don’t care. I have a job to do, so would you mind going back to Rivendell?
Arwen: Honey! Are you going to let him talk to me like that?
Strider: Sorry, sweetie. But I must side with the old writings. I can’t just write you in anywhere I want. I’m not Peter Jackson.
Arwen: This is completely unfair!
Narrator: Arwen turned around and marched towards her horse. But before she came that far, she grabbed Frodo, and jumped on her horse.
Arwen: Noro lim, Asfaloth, noro lim!
Narrator: And she sped off. Sam suddenly realised that Frodo was missing and told Strider.
Strider: Oh, darn. She can be so stubborn sometimes. Glorfindel, do you mind going after her?
Glorfindel: I don’t know what good it’ll do me. She has nabbed my horse. May I borrow yours?
Sam: Good bloody luck. If you can bet him past a trot, you’re good.
Narrator: Glorfindel jumped on the back of Bill and said.
Glorfindel: Noro lim, Bill, noro lim.
Narrator: To their big surprise Bill actually ran after Arwen. It didn’t take long before he had gained the lead she had. When he was levelled with her, they had a thug-of-war with Frodo. They didn’t even notice it, but the background music was getting louder. All of a sudden nine black clad men came at them with their instruments raised. They were playing loud, scary music. Arwen and Glorfindel sped up, and galloped across the river. Arwen jumped of her (Glorfindel’s) horse, and started to chant.
Arwen: Nîn o Chithaegil lasto beth daer; Rimmo nîn Bruinen dan in Ulaer!
Narrator: The riders were midway out in the river, when a mighty flood appeared and washed them with it. Frodo just was. He had been half asleep the whole ride. But now he was exhausted, and so, with a thud, he fell down. And he remembered no more.
Elrond: Frodo, lasto beth nîn, tolo dan na ngalad.
Narrator: Frodo awoke and found himself in a bed. He first thought he had slept in, and he realised he had. There was a ceiling over him, and he lay there watching it.
Frodo: Where am I, and what is the time?
Gandalf: In the house of Elrond, and it is ten o’clock in the morning. It is the morning of October the twenty-fourth, if you want to know.
Frodo: Gandalf!
Narrator: Frodo exclaimed, sitting up. There was the wizard, sitting in a chair by the open window.
Gandalf: Yes. It is I. How are you feeling?
Frodo: I’m better now. Tired, but better.
Narrator: At that moment Sam came storming into the room.
Sam: Mister Frodo, bless you, you’re awake.
Frodo: Oh, Sam.
Gandalf: Well, Frodo. According to Elrond, you are beginning to mend.
Elrond: Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Baggins.
Frodo and Sam: AHH! AGENT SMITH!!
Narrator: Elrond turned around with his arms raised in a Kong-fu position.
Elrond: WHERE??
Sam: It’s you..?!
Elrond: I didn’t leave my sunglasses on again, did I? Oh, no no no no no. You boys are quite wrong. I’m Elrond. Lord in Rivendell. The only Smith I have heard of is Aulë the Smith, and I don’t look like a Vala, now do I?
Frodo: Vala? What is that?
Gandalf: What is a… FRODO! Don’t you know the history of the world? Remind me to tell you!
Elrond: Well, rest some more and soon I’ll have a get-together. Good-bye for now. Oh, and, feel free to walk around and meet the people that are here. There are a lot of them.
Sam: Oh. I’ll get the others, Mr. Frodo. A party? Hurray.
Elrond: Samwise Gamgee! You and the others are not invited.
Sam: What? We’re not invited? Bummer!
Elrond: Well, good-bye again.
Gandalf: Well, I had better be of too. I’ll see you later, Frodo. Bye.
Frodo: Oh, Sam! I can’t believe we’re in Rivendell.
Sam: Yes, I know. Should I run you a bath?
Frodo: Oh…Yes, please, Sam. I feel positively filthy.
Narrator: Sam ran off, and after a few minutes he came back.
Sam: Those elves must be mind readers. They had already run that bath.
Frodo: Well, Sam. It doesn’t matter who did it, just help me before it gets cold.
Narrator: So Sam helped Frodo to the bath, and after that he helped him with his clothes. Later Frodo went to Elrond’s get-together. After he met a lot of people. Frodo went on to a porch like thing. Elrond and Gandalf were there, but there were also a lot of other people there. Elves, dwarves and men. (Oh, my!)
Elrond: Welcome, Frodo. Take a seat. Here, my friends, is the hobbit, Frodo son of Drogo, son of Fosco, son of Largo, son of Balbo. Few have ever come hither through greater peril or on an errand more urgent.
Narrator: All the elves, dwarves and men nodded their heads and looked at Frodo, but there were one of the elves that started to laugh. The fool of an elf, Figwit.
Elrond: You try to say that five times rapidly after one another.
Figwit: Eh… Ok. Few have ever come…
Elrond: Figwit, on the inside…
Figwit: Oh…Ok.
Elrond: The dark shadow is approaching from the south east. The nine has left Minas Morgul and Sauron’s forces are moving. He seeks the one Ring… I mean Thing. Frodo, bring it…
Figwit: Oh… oh… Elrond… I finished.
Narrator: Figwit exclaimed, tugging Elrond’s sleeve. Elrond looked at him with shock and horror.
Elrond: Figwit, not now! Wait until tonight.
Narrator: Figwit sat down with a pout, and everyone had their jaw in their lap but Legolas, whose jaw, was on the floor. He couldn’t believe Elrond, his idol, would do such a thing… and with Figwit. Elrond turned around and saw everyone’s expression and realised at that moment that they had misinterpreted the whole situation.
Elrond: NO, no, no, no, no, no! You’ve got it all wrong. I’m Figwit’s teacher’s aid. He’s not quite there yet. He is a Kronck sort of a creature.
Narrator: Everybody nodded their heads understandably, except Merry and Pippin, who, by the way, was hiding behind George Bush, spying on them. They, Merry and Pippin, didn’t understand a thing. Suddenly George Bush ran out from where ever he was hiding, nabbed the Thing and had the FBI bring in a helicopter to take him out of Rivendell. The elves, dwarves, men and hobbits had failed. The Thing was gone forever… Middle-Earth would diminish, and disappear.
The End.
Elrond: Ahem. Why don’t I just tell the story as it is written?
All: Would you mind??
Elrond: Now, where was I? Oh yes. Frodo, bring forth the Thing.
Narrator: As Frodo did so, everybody gasped, including Gandalf, even though he knew all about it. He was faking it.
Boromir: Ah… It’s a gift. Why not use it against Sauron?
Gandalf: The problem is, Boromir, we don’t know how.
Boromir: WHAT? The greatest minds of our time gathered in this room, and you don’t know how to use it?
Elrond: Not all the greatest minds. Galadriel is not here, and neither is Círdan. And besides, it is not a weapon. We must destroy it.
Strider: I agree with Elrond.
Boromir: Aaaannnddd yyyyouuuuu aaareeee?
Legolas: How dare you ask! He is Isildur’s air…hair…heir…right. You owe him your legions.
Narrator: Frodo, Boromir and a few of the elves and dwarves were stunned.
Boromir: Wha? He is Isildur’s heir? Don’t make me laugh. Gondor has no king… Gondor needs no king. Especially YOU!
Legolas: Do you want to take this out side? I’ll whip your bottum!
Aragorn: Havo dad, Legolas.
Narrator: Aragorn said and waived his hand. Legolas sat down under protest, and Boromir walked passed Aragorn and poked his tongue out at him.
Gandalf: BOROMIR! Sit down!
Boromir: What are you going to do? Turn me into something unnatural?
Narrator: This made Gandalf recite his favourite poem.
Gandalf: Ash nazg durbatulûk,
Ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk,
Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
Narrator: Everybody on the porch put their hands up to their ears. Gandalf wasn’t very good at reciting poems.
Gandalf: If you don’t sit down, you won’t get to go on the trip I have planed.
Boromir: Oh…Goody! A trip.
Elrond: Well… The thing is…We need to get the Thing to the land of Mordor so that we can drop it in the cracks of Mount Doom. Now… I need a volunteer…
Narrator: Elrond looked around to see if anybody was interested, but they all looked away. Except for Frodo, he was far away in his own thoughts.
Elrond: Frodo… You’ll go?
Frodo: Hm? What? Go where?
Boromir: Do you really want to trust this important Thing to someone who doesn’t pay attention?
Narrator: This started a huge fight. Almost everybody was standing, yelling in each others faces. After a few minutes, Frodo was fed up with the noise.
Frodo: I will take it.
Narrator: Nobody listened.
Frodo: I will take it.
Narrator: Still nothing.
Frodo: I will take the Thing to Mordor. Though… I don not know the way.
Narrator: This got everyone’s attention. They looked at him with great surprise. How could such a small creature manage to get the Thing to Mordor, all alone?
Elrond: You will? Are you sure?
Frodo: No. I just got fed up with the arguing. Darn, if I take it. I’m not stupid, you know.
Boromir: Not only doesn’t he pay attention, but he is a chicken too.
Frodo: You take that back, big nasty! I have more courage in my little toe, than you have in your whole body. But I was just kidding. I WILL take the Thing to Mordor. SO THERE!
Gandalf: I’ll do my best to keep you alive, my friend.
Aragorn: And if by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You will have my sword.
Legolas: And you’d have my bow.
Gimli: And my axe.
Boromir: You carry the faith of us all, little one.
Gandalf: See, Elrond. I told you it would be OK.
Sam: Mr. Frodo isn’t going anywhere without me.
Elrond: And it’s so easy to seperate you, since he was summend to a secret meating and you were not.
Narrator: Elrond said mockingly.
Merry: Hey! We’re coming too.
Pippin: Besides, you’ll need people of intelligence on this sort of mission quest thingy you have planned.
Merry: Well, that rules you out, Pip.
Elrond: Well, that’s it then. You will be the fellowship of the Thing. Good luck. You’ll need it.
Narrator: Soon after they were gathered in the courtyard and took farewell with their new and old friends. Frodo had been up to Bilbo’s room, and there he got Bilbo’s sword, String, and a mithril mail. Everything was very hush-hush. But now the fellowship stood in front of Elrond and hoped he would finish his good-bye speech. And finally he did. And the nine companions were off. Walking threw the wild wilderness towards Caradras. They had been walking for a very long time before they took their first rest. They were enjoying themselves until Legolas noticed crebains from Dunland. After that they didn’t have such a good time. The question of where they were going got raised many a time, and soon Boromir asked just that.
Boromir: Gandalf? Where are we going? I know we’re going to Mordor, but what route are we taking?
Gandalf: We must take the pass of Caradras.
Narrator: Gandalf said, and pointed to the top of the mountain. Everybody turned their head in the direction he was pointing, except Legolas, who was looking the other way.
Legolas: So where is that famous mountain of yours? I can’t see it!
Narrator: Gandalf griped Legolas’ chin and turned his head in the right direction.
Legolas: Ohhhh. Silly me.
Narrator: They tried to go over Caradras, but the nasty wizard, Saruman, wouldn’t let them. So before they died of cold, they decided to go through Moria instead.
Aragorn: I don’t like it. But if we have to, we must.
Gandalf: Easy for you to say. You’ll come out on the other side… ALIVE!!
Narrator: And so they went to Moria. It took some time before they found the gate, but when they did find it, they hastily ran into the long, dark of Moria.
Gimli: Soon, master elf, you will feel the hospitality of the dwarfs. Roaring fires, malt beer, red meat of the bones. Ay, it will be a mighty feast.
Narrator: They had been walking for many days threw Moria, and the chance of a big dwarven feast was looking very bleak. They had come to the great realm of the dwarf city of Darodwelv when Gimli saw something disturbing, and ran of. They ran after him, and when they found him, he was kneeling in front of a tomb. Balin’s tomb.
Gandalf: So he is dead, then. I thought as much. That much hard partying is hard on the body.
Narrator: He took of his hat, and gave it and his staff to Pippin. Pippin backed of until his back touched a well.
Pippin: Oh… I must make a wish.
Narrator: He said to himself and picked up a coin and dropped it in and the following noise indescribable. Everybody turned and looked at him with hard eyes. When the coin finally hit the bottom, the silence was deafening.
Pippin: Eh… My bad, my bad.
Gandalf: Fool of a Took. Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity!
Pippin: I’m sorry, you guys. I really am. Truly… madly… deeply!
Merry: What did you wish for?
Pippin: Never you mind!
Narrator: That’s when the booming started. It got closer and closer, and Boromir ran over to close the door and nearly got his head blown off. He looked at the others and said they had a cave trouble. The orc’s crashed threw the door, and everybody had a big fight. The Ranger went mad, and Frodo got sceawerd. And so, they ran to the Bridge of Kazad-dûm. (After they had found out a balrog was heading their way.)
They had nearly gotten to the bridge when the balrog entered the hall. As he did so, he saw Legolas, and did what he had wanted for so many years.
Balrog: Legolas, I am your father.
Legolas: No. That’s not true, that’s impossible.
Narrator: Strider slapped Legolas across the face and snapped him out of it, and so on they ran. And they watched in amazement as Gandalf levitated himself over a gorge. He stopped at the beginning of the bridge and helped the others across.
Gandalf: Come along now, children. Come along.
Narrator: When the others had crossed Kazad-dûm, Gandalf was left. He stood in front of the huge balrog and said.
Gandalf: You shall not…
Narrator: At that moment the balrog stepped on Gandalf’s toes.
Gandalf: Aow! I wasn’t finished, you idiot!
Balrog: Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Narrator: Gandalf shouted and hit the ground with his staff. The balrog took one step forward and the bridge collapsed under the weight of him, right in front of Gandalf’s feet.
Gandalf: I did it. I did it. I can’t believe I did it!
Narrator: Gandalf said and started to do the hobbit-jig, slipped and fell. At that moment the balrog flicked his whip and the tip hit Gandalf’s behind.
Gandalf: Aoch! Run, Luke, run. Eh… I mean… Fly, you fools.
Narrator: And so they started to flap their arms.
Gandalf: Not like that! RUN!!
Narrator: They looked at Gandalf in horror, and saw him fall into the gorge. The arrows from the orcs and goblins where starting to hum around their ears, and so they decided to leave Moria while they still could. When they came out of Moria, they stopped and cried for Gandalf’s passing. Aragorn was the one who took charge.
Aragorn: Legolas, get them moving.
Boromir: Give them a moment, for pity sake.
Aragorn: But by nightfall these hills will be swarming with ox… ehr… orcs. So, on your feet. We must get to the woods of Lothlórien.
Narrator: They had been running for some time when they finally reached the edge of the woods of Lothlórien.
Gimli: Be careful, wee ones. These woods are said to house a she elf-witch. That b**** can probably turn you into anything. But luckily for you, I have the eyes of hawk, and the ears of a fox.
Narrator: All of a sudden a band of elves jumped out from behind the trees and pointed their arrows at them.
Gimli: F*** me! That’s a f****** arrow.
Elf#1: The dwarf breath so loud we could have shot him in the dark. And besides, dwarf, you swear awfully!
Gimli: No. I don’t swear awfully, I swear well.
Elf#1: Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion.
Legolas: Govannas vîn gwennen le, Haldir o Lórien.
Haldir: A Aragorn in Dúnedain istannen le ammen.
Aragorn: Haldir o Lórien. Henio, aníron, boe ammen i dulu lîn. Boe ammen veriad lîn.
Haldir: I heard tidings that you were coming. All of you can go on… besides the dwarf and you.
Narrator: Haldir said and pointed at Frodo.
Frodo: What did I do?
Haldir: You bring great evil here.
Frodo: Hey! His name is Sam, and he is not evil.
Haldir: That’s not what I’m talking about.
Frodo: No? Oh…you mean the Thing. Don’t you worry. It’s not that evil.
Haldir: O… If you say so. I will take you to lady Galadriel and lord Celeborn of the woods. Remember to be courteous. And I’m especially looking at you dwarf! Let’s go.
Narrator: They had been walking for many days when they finally reached a great wall of mallorn trees that reached far around either way.
Haldir: Welcome to Caras Galadhon! Here is the city of the Galadhrim where dwell the Lord Celeborn and Galadriel the Lady of Lórien. But we can not enter here, for the gates do not look northward. We must go round to the southern side, and the way is not short, for the city is great.
Gimli: What’s so great about it?
Narrator: Gimli said. He was in a sulky mood. Haldir just looked at him, and one could see he was starting to get angry. His nose was flaring.
Haldir: You had better watch your back!
Narrator: Gimli looked over his shoulder and started walk, and then run, in a circle.
Legolas: This is going to take for ever.
Aragorn: My stars, Ilúvatar. The brain surgeon!!
Narrator: After they had slapped Gimli a number of times, because he passed out from dizziness, they moved on. Legolas looked at Gimli and said.
Legolas: I can not believe you did that. You are a disgrace to your race. I’m almost embarrassed to call you my friend.
Gimli: You see me as a friend?
Legolas: Well…I…didn’t…mean…
Gimli: Yes, you did. You see me as a friend. Oh, Legolas!
Narrator: Gimli opened his arms to give Legolas a hug.
Legolas: What are you doing?
Gimli: Going to give you a hug.
Legolas: NO! No touchy! No Touchy! NO TOUCHY!
Gimli: Oh yeah! You need a hug.
Legolas: Stay away.
Gimli: Don’t run away. Come here!
Narrator: Legolas had started to walk away from Gimli, but he followed. And quite soon Legolas was running around with Gimli after him.
Aragorn: Ah… They are going to sleep well tonight.
Haldir: Well, we’re not going to get anywhere if those two are going to continue like this. Hey, you two! Cut it out!
Sam: The only way to put an end to this is to trip Legolas. See…He’s to fast for the dwarf.
Narrator: Frodo smiled and called the other hobbits over. They stood in a huddle for a bit, and suddenly they called a unison “Break”. They spread out and waited till Legolas came dashing threw the forest. When he did, Frodo yelled.
Frodo: NOW!
Sam: Dog pile!
Narrator: This is what happened. Frodo first tripped Legolas who fell down. On top of him landed four hobbits, and they started to tickle him. After some waiting, Gimli came puffing threw the forest, and when he saw the dog pile, he jumped on top of it. The smart hobbits rolled away just as Gimli were about to land. They climbed on top of Gimli afterwards.
Legolas: NO…NO MORE! I can’t breath!
Narrator: After some time, they got going again. Legolas walked between Aragorn and Boromir who held him up.
Boromir: You had to run away. You couldn’t just give him that hug.
Legolas: So heavy. He was SO heavy! The four hobbits I could handle, but a whole, full grown dwarf… I think I cracked a rib.
Haldir: They will look after you in the city. Just hang on, Legolas.
Narrator: They finally got to the gate and entered. Legolas was rushed to the healing house. Haldir came back and said.
Haldir: Here dwell Celeborn and Galadriel. It is their wish that you should ascend and speak with them.
Narrator: There were now many other elves around, and one of them blew a clear note on a small horn, and it was answered three times from afar.
Haldir: I will go first. Let Frodo come next, and with him Lego…darn…Ok. Aragorn. The others may follow as they wish. It is a long climb for those who are not accustomed to such stairs, but you may rest upon the way.
Narrator: They started the long walk up. It seemed to go on and on and on…
Merry: Not this again. I’m truly fed up with stairs.
Narrator: When they finally got to the top, they found out it was worth it. The view was fantastic.
They stood in a row and watched as Celeborn and Galadriel came out from a small house at the top of a small stairwell, walk down them and over to where the companions were standing.
Celeborn: Eight, and nine with Legolas, sat out from Rivendell, but eight that are here. Tell me, where is Gandalf, for I wish to speak with him.
Galadriel: He is not here. I can not see. It is all very dark.
Boromir: Erm… He got lost in the woods.
Galadriel: What ever. Rest now. You will be safe here. Sleep well.
Narrator: They were taken to a place where they could sleep. After a while Legolas came back to them. All of a sudden they heard singing.
Sam: That is beautiful, Mr. Frodo. What are they singing?
Frodo: I don’t know. Maybe Legolas does.
Legolas: I have not the heart to tell you, for my grief is still to near.
Frodo and Sam: Oh, please!
Legolas: I’m sorry, but I can’t.
Aragorn: Oh, I’ll do it.
I loved Gandalf
Gandalf loved me
I don’t know where he can be
The balrog teared his eyes out
Kicked him in the head
Don’t tell the Lords
That Gandalf’s dead.
Sam: That was beautiful, Strider. Thank you.
Narrator: Gimli had been sleeping through the whole thing, and now he was snoring happily away. Aragorn picked up a pillow, and whacked him with it. The snoring stopped and Gimli rolled over on his side.
The next morning, during breakfast when all in Lothlórien was relatively quiet, two shady figures moved towards the kitchen. Suddenly creepy music started to sound out in the kitchen, and Haldir snuck around the corner. When he saw that no-one was in there, he waived his hand, and Urúviel came sneaking around the same corner. They started to hum to the music as they went over to the dishwasher, and started to pull out the wires and disconnect the hose. All of a sudden they heard someone come their way. They clung to the wall and stopped the humming; the only sound coming from their lips was a long note. The elf that came into the kitchen just looked at the two, shook his head and walked out again. When he had left the two continued. It didn’t take long before they rolled the dishwasher out. When Galadriel found out about this, she called the fellowship to her.
Galadriel: The reason I have called you, is because a very important thing of mine has been stolen from me. I want to know who it is.
Frodo: Well, Lady Galadriel. It is none of us. We have been busy. Specially us hobbits.
Galadriel: Then it is up to you to find out who it is. If you don’t find it out, you’ll stay here for ever.
Narrator: They left her, in thought, and walked back to their camp.
Aragorn: Basically, I don’t care if we stay her or not.
Legolas: Me too. I really didn’t have anything to do anyway. If the world is going under, might as well be here.
Frodo: But in case you all have forgotten, I have a Thing burning a hole in my pocket, and I have a big need to stick it in the Cracks of Mount Doom.
Sam: Yeah! And I have Rosie to get back to, so hep-to, people! I want to go home!
Aragorn: Sorry. We just can’t be bothered.
Gimli: Besides… I like it here.
Narrator: Frodo and Sam left the others, and walked among the trees. Frodo started to pick some Elanor flowers and said.
Frodo: Looks like it is up to us to find the thieves.
Sam: I know, sir. How are we going to manage that?
Frodo: I don’t know. Let’s go to the kitchen and see if we find anything.
Narrator: And they did just that. When they stepped through the door, there were no-one there. Frodo looked at the floor to see if he could find some clues.
Frodo: Here, Sam. Long, blond hairs. If we find the one who matches these hairs, we find the thief.
Narrator: At that moment Haldir came into the kitchen. Frodo turned and looked at him with a suspicious glare.
Frodo: YOU! Do you know anything about Galadriel’s missing dishwasher?
Narrator: Haldir started to sweat and look around to see if he could find some refuge.
Sam: You’re right, sir. He wasn’t at breakfast this morning.
Narrator: Haldir knew he was found out. He picked up a plate of straw berries and threw them at Frodo and Sam. They held their hands up to their faces and yelled out in pain. Haldir used this to his advantage, and ran of. When the other two had stopped yelling, they ran after him. But he was no-where to be found. But they did find Urúviel, and they asked her if she knew where Haldir was.
Frodo: Excuse me, but do you know where Haldir is?
Urúviel: Eh…no…I haven’t seen him recently. Why?
Sam: We wish to speak with him. We asked him about Lady Galadriel’s dishwasher and he ran of.
Urúviel: Did he? Well… I can’t imagine why.
Narrator: Urúviel started to look very insecure. Small beads of sweat started to appear on her upper lip. She couldn’t stand still and in no time she ran off too.
Frodo: Well, Sam. I think we have our thieves. Let us go and tell Lady Galadriel the news.
Narrator: And that is exactly what they did.
Frodo: Lady Galadriel. We have news about your dishwasher. We think we know who stole it.
Galadriel: Really? Who is it then?
Sam: It is Haldir and Urúviel.
Galadriel: Urúviel? Surely, you jest.
Frodo: Alas, it is true. And my name is not Surely, it is Frodo.
Galadriel: Lawks, I must say! You are sure of this?
Frodo: No, my lady. But when we asked them, they ran of.
Galadriel: That speaks volumes. Guards! Bring me the elf Haldir and the elf maiden Urúviel at once.
Narrator: And not being fools, the guards did just that. Haldir and Urúviel were found and brought before Galadriel.
Galadriel: What have you to say in your defence?
Urúviel: Nothing, my lady. I will tell all if I were to be brought in front of a trial.
Haldir: As will I!
Galadriel: Very well. Have it your way. You will get a trial.
Narrator: And so a trial was held. Celeborn was the judge, Aragorn was the lawyer for the criminals and Legolas was lawyer for the dishwasher.
Celeborn: You have been accused of stealing lady Galadriel’s dishwasher. How do you plead?
Haldir and Urúviel: Guilty!
Celeborn: Oh…OK…Urúviel; your penalty is 100 years in a cage! Haldir, I have not thought up a penalty yet, but it will come. Be sure of that. Do you have any last words?
Haldir: We are the elves against dishwashers. We are sick and tired of loading and unloading her dishwasher! It is her dishwasher; let her do her own job! I am not sorry I took it, and I would do it again! Long live the washing up brush!
Narrator: And with those words Urúviel and Haldir were taken away. Galadriel called the fellowship before her.
Galadriel: As you have done my bidding, I will let you leave. But first I will give you gifts as thank you for solving my mystery.
To Legolas; a bow. This is the bow of the Galadhrim. It is a very special bow, for it is given to you by me. That is what makes it special.
To Merry and Pippin; belts with knives in them. These are very old knifes. So be careful with them so that you don’t destroy them.
To Boromir; a belt. You’ll need something to keep your pants up.
To Sam; Some elven rope and a box of seeds. From one gardener to another.
To Aragorn; well, I can’t give you anything you don’t already possess. Except this green stone. This stone I gave to Celebrían my daughter, and she to hers; and now it comes to you as a sign of hope. In this hour take the name that was foretold you, Elessar, the elfstone of the house of Elendil!
To Gimli: What would you ask from the lady of the woods?
Gimli: Nothing. Except…perhaps…if you could spare them…two strands of your golden hair.
Galadriel: Here…Take three.
And you, Ring-bearer; I come to you last who are not last in my thoughts. For you I have prepared this. In this phial is caught the light of Eärendil’s star, set amid the waters of my fountain. It will shine still brighter when night is apon you. May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.
And one thing to all of you; these capes. They will make you invisible, for they are magical. And remember that this mission stands apon the edge of a knife, stray but a little and it will falter to the ruin of us all. But you have a safe trip, and I’ll see almost all of you later.
Narrator: She handed the phial to Frodo, and it shone threw his hands. The others were led to the boats, and Aragorn was taken aside her Galadriel.
Galadriel: Am meleth dîn. I ant e guil Arwen Undómiel pelitha.
Aragorn: Aníron i e broniatha ar i periatham natha methed ned amar hen. Aníron e ciratha na Valannor.
Galadriel: Namárië. Nadath nâ i moe cerich. Dan, ú-eveditham, Elessar.
Narrator: And so Aragorn went over to the others and so the rowed, rowed, rowed their boats, gently down the streams. They finally got to a place they thought was good enough, and sat up camp. Suddenly Frodo noticed something.
Frodo: Aragorn, what is that?
Aragorn: I am afraid, that is Gollum. I guess he really wants his Thing back.
Frodo: Gollum. I remember Gandalf telling me something about him a long time ago. But I thought he would be dead by now.
Aragorn: I am afraid not. But beware; he is very good at sneaking up on people.
Narrator: Legolas looked at Aragorn.
Legolas: I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
Aragorn: What?
Legolas: We shouldn’t stay here. Something has been gnawing at me. I think we should leave.
Aragorn: Oh, take it easy! It is going to be fine.
Sam: HEY! WHERE IS FRODO?
Gimli: And Boromir?
Narrator: Good questions indeed. Actually they were taking a walk in the woods. By them selves. Well, really…Frodo walked on first, and Boromir followed. Now he was pretending to pick up faggots for the fire.
Boromir: You shouldn’t be walking alone.
Frodo: I’m never alone, even when I want to be.
Boromir: Oh, Frodo. How you suffer. I see it day by day. Give me the Thing, and I will bear it for you.
Frodo: Are you daft? Does it say idiot on my forehead?
Boromir: No, but… Aren’t you afraid of me? I’m so big and muscular.
Frodo: No, I’m not afraid of you. Now, leave me alone.
Narrator: At that moment the rest of the fellowship came running.
Aragorn: Boromir? What are you doing?
Boromir: Nothing!
Narrator: And then they heard a lot of yelling and they saw an army of orcs coming towards them.
The eight companions stood on top of a small hill and the orcs came charging at them. Aragorn drew his sword, yelled “Eärendil” and threw himself into battle. Boromir yelled “To Gondor” and did the same. Merry yelled “Elbereth”, and Pippin “Mushrooms”, and then they threw themselves into battle. Kind of. Gimli raised his axe, screamed “Galadriel” and threw himself at some orcs. Sam yelled “Frodo”, and Frodo yelled “Gandalf” and ran away to catch the boat to the other side of the river. The only one left was Legolas. He looked at the others and yelled “MAKE-UP!”
The fight went on, and the companions got separated into two groups. Brave Boromir took care of the wee hobbits, Merry and Pippin, while Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli had only themselves to take care of. Suddenly a huge Uruk-Hai came bursting threw the forest, heading for Boromir. This was Lurtz. He raised his bow and fired an arrow at him.
Boromir: Hah hah, missed me!
Narrator: Merry and Pippin saw this and decided to help him. They attacked the first orc they could find, and hacked at his feet.
Orc #1: Oh, aoch! Oh, please stop. You’re hurting me. No no…no more. Please!
Narrator: The orc said calmly. Lurtz now fired another arrow at Boromir, and hit him.
Boromir: Oh…You got me, Tex!
Lurtz: Hah hah, now you will die!
Boromir: No…It’s just a flesh wound. I’m still good.
Narrator: Ugluk fround and fired another arrow and hit Boromir again.
Boromir: What are you doing? You are ruining my suite.
Narrator: Boromir said, and blew his horn. Lurtz fired yet another arrow and hit again.
Boromir: Will you stop that? I’m dying now, OK?
Narrator: Boromir said, and fell down. Aragorn had hears Boromir’s horn and came dashing threw the woods. Lurtz had gotten out yet another arrow and walked towards Boromir. He growled and raised his bow, and was just about to give Boromir a splitting head ace, when Aragorn came bouncing at him. They tumbled on the ground for a bit, and when they stood up, Lurtz soon fell down again, dead. They huddled around Boromir who was fighting for his last breath.
Boromir: They took the little ones.
Aragorn: Yeah, I know. I was expecting as much.
Boromir: What about Frodo and Sam? I tried to take the Thing from Frodo.
Aragorn: Shh. Don’t speak, brave Boromir. Just die knowing that you helped a bit.
Boromir: I really wanted to ride into my city with you by my side, my friend, my king.
Aragorn: I said: Shh! Now die!
Boromir: Fine. But don’t kiss me, OK?
Aragorn: You bet!
Narrator: And so brave Boromir died, in the arms of his love…erh…king. Now we turn our attention on Sam and Frodo. When all the brewha of the fighting went on, they fled the scene.
Frodo ran to the boats and Sam was helping the others. When he realized that Frodo was leaving without him, he got sad.
Sam: That’s hard, cruel hard.
Narrator: He said and ran to the boats as well, while shouting.
Sam: Coming, Mr. Frodo.
Narrator: Frodo had pushed himself out on the river when Sam came running.
Frodo: Sam, I’m going alone.
Sam: Yes, I know, and I’m coming with you.
Narrator: he shouted and ran into the river.
Frodo: Sam, you can’t swim! SAM!
Narrator: But Sam’s head had disappeared under water. Frodo reached in and pulled him up by his hair.
Sam: Hock! Cough, cough! Spit!
Frodo: Are you alright?
Sam: I am now, sir.
Narrator: And the rowed, oared, drove, canoed off.
When the others came down to the river, and after giving Boromir a fine funeral, they saw Frodo and Sam on the other side. Gimli and Legolas jumped in the remaining boat and was set to go when they saw Aragorn stay put.
Legolas: You mean not to follow them?
Gimli: Then all of this has been for nothing. NOTHING, I TELLS YA’!
Aragorn: No, we will not let Merry and Pippin be left to torment and so on. But if we stay true to our hearts, there is no limit to what we can achieve. Now, who is with me?
Narrator: The two others nodded their heads
Aragorn: Let’s hunt some orc.
Gimli: YEAH!
Narrator: And we leave you with a vision where they are running threw the woods and on to the fields. Where as Sam and Frodo are climbing mountains.
Frodo: Do you think we’ll ever see the others again?
Sam: We may, Mr. Frodo. We may.
Frodo: I’m glad you’re with me, Sam.
Narrator: And we fade and start the credits. But stay tuned to the next chapter of LORD OF THE THINGS. where you will hear more about this:
And so departing, the three left. On across the fields of Rohan the three rode on horseback, on the backs of their horses. In no little time they came to the place of their arrival, where arriving, they stopped and halted.
THE END