Monthly Archives: January 2015

Dracula Untold *SPOILERS*

So, in his spare time, Bard from “The Hobbit” is moonlighting as a prince. And he takes Turks. I don’t blame him. I have yet to hear of one that can be trusted.

So Vlad the Impaler gets in trouble with the Turks who wants his boys, every boy in his country, to fight for them. And weaved into the tapestry of history there is something dark.

I’m afraid that all I’ll take away from this movie is “Never trust a Turk” and they are greedy bastards. No, not just back in the day. Now, too.  Go on, prove me wrong. Make my mothers deadbeat boyfriend go to Turkey and sell her apartment… like he said he would AGES AGO!!! All this without bitching and moaning about not having money. Go on. Prove me wrong! Need more examples? How about her first Turkish boyfriend who admitted to only wanting to marry her so he could get a green card. How about the next one? The one that physically attacked her and then gladly took things of hers that were valuable. I guess you could call that stealing. So why didn’t she call the police? Would you? They aren’t trustworthy either. So please. Prove me wrong.

Enough of them for now, though. One plus to the movie. Charles Dance is in it. He is the Master Vampire. It is somewhat difficult to see under all the make-up, but it’s him. He is a great bad guy.

OK, so Vlad drank the blood of Master after he gave him a story about how, if he managed to go three days without drinking blood, he’d go back to his old self. And then, after he has drunk the blood he asks “What now?” and the Master says “You die…”. Does that mean that if he does manage to not drink blood he’ll die since he’s already dead? So many questions.

And he can turn into a flock of bats.. I get serious Van Helsing vibes from Vlad. They should have called the movie Van Dracula vs The Turks instead.
It started out as a nice story. Now it’s just meh. It just turned very meh. And we’re not even halfway.
No! No no no no!! It’s supposed to be the CANINE TEETH!!! Not the incisors! I hate it when they get that wrong. Why did they shy away from canine teeth? There’s a reason they are pointy.. and there’s a reason incisors are NOT pointy. They are for cutting.. canines are for puncturing! GAH!! When did they stop doing that? Is it all Vampire Diaries fault? Ugh. Such rage. It looks STUPID!!!!
And they got the impaling wrong too. It was a punishment and the person being impaled was impaled through the arse, thought the body and out the neck. Of course I don’t know if that was practiced on the battlefield in the middle of a war. I’ve forgotten a lot of the story about Vlad. I know he was taken by the Turks when he was a kid. But I can’t remember if the Turks taught him the art of impaling.
And they are using, seemingly, Lord of the Rings surplus swords. Good thing nothing goes to waste.
300 got nothing on Vlad.
OK! Plot twist.
Vlad turns everyone into vampires. Didn’t see that one coming.
So, the Turks are beaten and Vlad kills “his people” by making the sun come out (because Dracula has the power to make it cloudy).
But Vlad is then saved by his human servant.
Cut to modern day. Vlad finds Mina, the spitting image of his dead wife. And Charles Dance looking gorgeous in a suit. I thought Master Vampire was supposed to die or something when Vlad drank blood. Or was that just to release him from the cave he was in. Oh well…
He says something about games and to let them begin. Will there be yet another Dracula movie?
I hope not.
Let’s just say that I’ve shied away from vampire things of late. They aren’t good. They don’t get the teeth thing right and that pisses me off. I’ll stick to Hammer vampires and Coppola’s Dracula. Those were good ones.
But that said. The acting was good and all. Story was good. Everything was OK. But I don’t know.. It didn’t keep me on tenterhooks. It was just there and yeah. 5/10
Unless you’re really into vampires and don’t care about the teeth, watch it.

Sunday Afternoons…

Mood: Very good. Enjoying a glass of ice cold, delicious Cherry Coke.
Listening to: Elastic Heart – Sia
Still hooked.

h1C7FA67EI’ve been trying to gather my thoughts. I really want to write, but it’s difficult. I write down bits and pieces, but if it’s any good, I don’t know. I’m a word-slinger when it comes to writing movie reviews, but coming up with a story of my own is bloody hard.
That said. I read a little of Stephen Kings “A perfect Marriage” and it’s so good. I want that book. He makes it seem to effortless. Maybe I should get his book “On Writing” too.
I guess the thing is. Find a story that you think might be interesting to people, develop it and then publish. I’m sure there are more steps, but seriously, I’m by no means an expert. So, I have the story, and I’m trying to develop it.
Maybe I should find some music to help me set the mood. Music has almost always been a catalyst when I’m writing. The last writing spell I had was catapulted by Vangelis – 1492. A few of those melodies were very inspiring to what I needed them for. I think the problem is I don’t know what music fits to my story. Elastic Heart helps, but I need more. Enough of that. I wrote a little yesterday, and I should be happy with that.

When I got my pay for January I decided to get Fantasy Life for my 3DS. I LOVE THAT GAME!!! It is really addicting, and that’s not good. I have to play Animal Crossing too, or my towns people will move away. I already lost one. But she was replaced by someone really nice, so no worries. But I really love my towns people and I don’t want them to leave.
So, Fantasy Life. You can be whatever you want to be. I started my life as a mercenary. I figured that as a mercenary I was somewhat free to do what I wanted. Making money and so on. Then I decided to be a magician. The problem is that I get stuck. There are some really strong things I need to kill, and I’m whittling away 1 point at a time when they have like 1000 HP. So no. I ain’t doing that. I guess I just have to work at it and become stronger. But it’s very time consuming. And it hurts my neck.

I was planning on getting some Dark Souls in today, but I realized I had to plug things in and all that, and I just couldn’t be bothered. I saw Lobos Jr on Youtube playing and he gave me such great hints about things, so I’m totally going to try that when I get around to it. It’s really stupid of me. Honestly. I have this great game I’ve wanted to play for ages and I haven’t even beaten the Taurus Demon yet. How sad is that. It’s not like I can be scared of dying. I KNOW I’m going to die. That’s what the game was made for.. dying. I should be ashamed. I am ashamed. I’ll do better. I promise! Praise the sun!! \o/


Monday midday m-word…

Mood: OK, I guess. A bit headachy, but I’ll live.
Listening to: Lobos Jr play Dark Souls. He’s cheesing all the bosses that can be cheesed. I’m learning a lot here.

So, I’m trying something new again. This time it’s another Energy Drink. Burn Berry Blast, it’s called, and well.. I don’t know. It tastes like berries, oddly enough. It’s not the worst I’ve ever tasted, and it’s a good go-to if I need a boost.
Yeah, I’m gonna say I like it.
There are other Burn energy drinks. One regular, which I have no idea what tastes like and one Orange. I’ll try that one too in the future some time.
I still miss the Monster one I loved.
I wonder if this one will make me buzz like the Monster one did. It’s fitting that’ll I’ll buzz, tho, since I’m going shopping later. =D
I hope I find what I need. I need new pants and at least two sweaters.
We’ll see, and I’ll keep you posted.

I’ve also discovered, it’s rather late, I know, an artist who is an amazing artist. Sia. I first found out about her last summer when I heard “Chandelier”. My first reaction was “meh”. But then I heard it again and I caught the lyrics and the deeper meaning. And I got hooked on Chandelier. A few weeks ago “Elastic Heart” came out and it got a lot of bad press because Shia LeBeouf and Maddie Ziegler ARE SO FUCKING PEDO IN THE MUSIC VIDEO! OMG!!!
Again, the deeper meaning wins through, and it’s an amazing song and the video is amazing too.

I’ve listened to more of Sia’s stuff, and she’s pretty good. She’s also written loads of songs you’d never think wasn’t written by people who performed them.


Anyway. I’ve gushed enough. Time to finished brunch.

OH!!! And congratulations to Stephen Fry and Elliot G Spencer on their marriage. I wish all the happiness in the world for you.



Oh, and Merry Christmas too.
Yes, I knooow. Again, I’m so lazy. I’ve been thinking about updating and all, but then I just can’t be arsed.

Anyway! It’s a brand new year and I feel worn out already. OK, let me explain.
I had a little too much to drink last night and I was sitting on the couch, watching TV and singing along to


Seriously, I can’t get enough of them. So my throat is shot today.. and all the arm waiving broke my back. And I did work yesterday and I was carrying some heavy shit around. I’ll blame it on that. I’m not hungover, tho, so that’s a plus.

So, Christmas.
FOR Christmas I got:
Mum and dad: Money. Which is exactly what I asked for. I was invited on a mini cruise on the 10th of January, which I needed money for. But it’s been postponed till March, I think.. so I don’t know if I can go seeing as I don’t get much work. And that sucks. But I’m hoping the girls wants to go to Sweden on the 11th of January instead so I can get some shopping done.
Brother: A book! A Stephen King book. “Under the Dome” to be exact, which is also exactly what I asked for.
The Kids: Sake. Different kinds. And some cooking thing.. like Japanese curry. I’m super excited about the Sake. I don’t think I’ll drink them, tho. They are really so cute and decorative.
Granny: Money, but I used it for shampoo and hair treatment thing. I tried a new one, quite pricy one called Bed Head by Tigi. I got the Dumb Blonde one. Since I’m all blond now and pretty short haired I need something that takes better care of it.
Honey: A Samsung Galaxy Pro tablet (and SMS earphones. They are AMAZING!)
Aunt and Uncle: Chocolates, scratchy lottery ticket (didn’t win) and a magazine.
Friends daughter: I got a french tip manicure set, but I exchanged it for an Essie nail lacquer called muchi muchi. It’s really cute and pink. I already have like two french tip sets and I never use those, so I swapped it.
I think I’ve decided that I’ll stop keeping things that I’ll never use just to be nice. I still have a tube scarf from two years ago that I never use. Too late now.
Boss lady: Shea hand lotion. Two of them.. vanilla and pomegranate. They are really good.
Father in law: A muffin maker! =D It’s exactly what I wanted! I think he’s a mind reader. Or he has Twitter. I saw a youtube video of Cooking with Dog making Takoyaki. It’s like batter you make in a Takoyaki pan.. they are balls filled with shrimp or/and squid and other good stuff. I’m totally going to make those!

I guess that’s it. If I’ve forgotten anything then I’m really sorry.

This Christmas has really been hard on my hands too. Before Christmas two of my nails split really far down so they are a little crooked. Then I burned my thumb on something hot. And when I was making Christmas cookies I sliced one of my fingers in two.. well, not all the way down, but it was through the nail and it hurt. Then when I visited my dad I was helping him make dinner, slicing potatoes in half, I sliced my other thumb for good measure.  And yesterday when I was making swede stew I sliced my hand. I should just stop making things.

So yeah. On the 22nd of December lovie and I went to visit my family in Bergen by train. Night train. We almost slept.
It was really nice to see them all again. It was a really nice Christmas celebration. Even though the whole thing with mum and her dick of a money grabbing asshole “boyfriend”, it was a really lovely celebration. I’m not going to get into that. I don’t need bad mood.

Anyway. I hope you all had a great Christmas and that your new year will being you nothing but happiness and joy.

Be good to each other.