Category Archives: Sci-fi

Splice, a Lene movie review

Posted on January 11, 2012 | Comments Off on Splice, a Lene movie review

Finally, it’s on my TV!!! After years of waiting to catch it on the Internet, it’s HERE!!! Wheee….
*SPOLER*SPOLER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*
I don’t know if any of you have seen it, but apparently it’s about aliens.. or DNA from an alien.. spliced with a toad. (IT’S REALLY ABOUT SCIENTISTS MIXING DNA FROM LOADS OF CREATURS, MAKING A THING FOR MEDICAL BENIFITS) Idk.. I havne’t seen it before, and I’ve forgotten the back story.
OK, yeah… Aliens.. more of them. A science lab has two of them, introduced them to each other and they mated.
Of course, there are bad people in this movie, the “company”, meaning to shut down everything. So.. the clincher, I guess, that they mean to slice alien DNA with human DNA, cause that’s always a good idea.
So instead of being shut down, the science people decide to go ahead with it.. like I said.. always a good idea.
Also the science people are into each other… and I foresee bad things in the future.
Oh, good… the female scientist has hijacked the embryo.. good times. And splicing commences.
WHAT??? They have a fake uterus???? What the eff??? Ugh, movie love… I need Ice cream for this…
Shit… so stuff happened while I was getting ice cream… the female scientist got her hand bitten by the splice thing and male scientist has to save her by breaking the fake womb. and they put the splice thingie in an incubator. Then they got up enough courage they went back to look at it, but it’s dead… but no.. it’s kinda cute, actually. I have to admit that this whole setup reminds me of Species.
Anyway.. they figure our how to feed it, and she slowly grows.
Too bad I won’t be able to watch the whole movie, but at least I know it’s there now.
Oh yeah.. the movie. Dren, the thing, got ill and male scientist tried to drown her. And when he actually saved her he got all “OF COURSE I KNEW SHE HAD AMPHIBIOUS LUNGES HAHAHAH!!!”
And she goes of growing. OK, so it’s not alien DNA. The two thingies at the beginning were made. Like by the science people.
And now Dren has escaped. This is why women shouldn’t be scientists. Not when they get too attached to things they make. I’m not saying that men are cold, but can just as easily get too attached too.
Oh ,great… She escaped again… and evolved… growing wings. And she’s in love with male scientist (Poor thing must be soooo desperate).
Damn, I have to got to bed. I’m tired and I have a headache. And it’s about time.
Male scientist is dancing.. ugh..
Oh yeah.. female scientist used her own DNA to make Dren.
DAMMIT!!! IT’S GETTING GOOD!!!!
(Next day) OK, so I watched the whole thing and let’s just say that the last 30 min were action filled.
I have to admit that I missed some things.. like the two mating things were made to help people with something.. Serum made or something, and the two scientists were asked to do something by the bosses. I thin it was to make the making of the two mating thing public, and later they did have a presentation introducing them to the world. The only problem was that the female mating thing turned into a male while the scientists were busy taking care of Dren. So at the presentation the two male mating things turned into two spike wielding killing thing.. and they both died, splattering blood all over the front row.
The bosses get mad and start to investigate what the hell happened.
So… Dren danced with male scientist and found out she needed luuurv. Female scientist is a bitch and taked Dren’s cat away, only to give it back a few days later, but Dren is pissed off and stabs the cat with her poisoned stinger in her tail. Female scientist slaps her for it and Dren attacks her and steals the key to the padlock that keeps her lock in. Just as she’s about to take her tentative steps into freedom, female scientist hits her over the head with a shovel.
Later the male scientist comes home and he goes to see her. And, even though they know nothing about Dren, I mean.. she might have a downstairs like the one in “Teeth”, he has sex with her. Female scientist catches them in the act and leaves. He follows her and they have a heart to heart (but honestly, seeing as she used her own DNA… it’s like making love to her, right? He could say that he was lovin’ her DNA.. not Drens…). Before they had sex, though, female scientist tortured Dren a little.. like removing the stinger from her tail and anything that made her look human.
After they had their heart to heart they go back to take care of Dren. They find her ill and later she dies. They bury her, and while they burning her stuff their boss turns up. He demands to see what they have been up to and is taken out by a not dead, but a changing Dren. She takes off and they follow. Male scientist loses his flashlight in a pond and tried to get it back. Dren is hiding in the pond and drags him in.  He gets back out and passes out, and as female scientist is watching, Dren comes out of the pond, fully changes into male Dren. He chases her, catches her and rapes her, and at the climax male scientist stabs Dren with a branch. He turns and attacks, knocking male scientist down. Female scientist knocks Dren with a huge rock and before she can deliver the final blow, he stabs male scientist with his stinger, killing him. Female scientist throws down the rock, killing Dren.
The screen foes dark, and you know what it’ll say “A few months later”. But it doesn’t. Instead you see female boss person talking to female scientist. I have to admit that I missed most of what she daid, but I got the underlining message. “You get money to spend if we get what’s in your belly.”
And she goes for it, cause “What’s the worst that could happen?”

I’m expecting a Splice 2. And it reminds me of The Fly and The Fly 2.
It’s a good movie, but I need to watch it again, I think.. lol
The CGI is seamless and they did a good job at it.

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Posted in Movie Reviews, Sci-fi

The Thing From Another World – a Lene Movie review

Posted on October 28, 2011 | Comments Off on The Thing From Another World – a Lene Movie review

In celebration of the new The Thing movie being released today, I thought it’d be cool to do a Lene review of what got it all started.
This is one of my favor it movies. Those who know me know I do enjoy the old cheesy scary movies that were made in the 50’s and 60’s. This one was made in 1951.
So, let’s get started… oh, and *SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER*
Something has crashed on the North Pole and the American Air Force is sent to investigate. They find a UFO which they plan to get out of the ice its stuck in, but sadly they manage to blow it up instead. They find an alien, though, and manage to get it back to base without ruining it. They put it in a storage room and break a glass to keep it cool. They also put guards on the darn thing, but they are being careless and the heating blankets they use to keep themselves warm melt the ice the alien is in and soon it is set free and starts trying to kill everything that moves.
Of course the scientists and army people are butting heads over what to do. The army guys wants to keep it on ice and the scientists want to thaw it out… because that’s what you do when you find an alien life form….especially out where no one lives. Of course its the best place for it, no one other than the people on the base will be killed it the alien life form decides humans are on the top of its “Damn, they taste delicious” list.
But I digress.
Of course there is love in this movie. There has to be in these movies, in the old fashioned “Shucks, but you’re pudry, lady. Her’s get married and have lots of sex and babies” way.
But before tha the army guys start to chase the escaped alien while the scientists try to save it. At least the dogs are willing to play with it…in a “ZOMG!! KILL IT BEFORE IT KILLS US!!!” kind of way. It cost the alien an arm… Good thing it did, cause the scientists analyze it and find out it is bloodless and that it’s a cross between a beetle back and a rose thorn…. or a vegetable.
And thus Carrot Top came to Earth.
One thing I will say about the movie. There is a lot of talk. Good thing it’s all relevant to the story.
Unfortunately the head Dr. scientists guy wants to marry the f’ing hand and make it his bitch. A true vegetarian if I ever saw one.
The scientist Dr. guy finds out that someone has been in their greenhouse and, of course, since he knows best, doesn’t tell anyone. They find a dead dog and then decide they HAVE TO find it first so that they can communicate with it. I don’t see how they will be able to. Have you ever tried to talk to a vegetable? (not the human kind.. that’s mean!!!) It’s pretty one sided.
Pretty soon the thing starts attacking people. They find it in the green house and manage to capture it. The doctor gets his ass chewed out by the army guy, and he finally gets wise and maybe the army people are right… but he still thinks the scientists are the ones to handle it.
He also tells his co-workers that he has been giving the arm blood and that the darn thing has started to bloom. Sometimes sciency guys can be so annoying.
The army guy figures out that the blood is missing, and his zomg, perdy lady shows him the doctors notes.
The higher up army guys people wants them to keep the thing alive.
A big question soon arises. What to do if the thing attacks since nothing seems to harm it. It can live in extreme cold…
I know.. how about KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
and they try just that..
When that kinda works and the thing jumps out the window to put itself out, they set to work trying to kill it. Since the thing has turned off the oil heater, they will try electricity.
Science is apparently more important than lives, according to Dr. Mengele science Dr guy.
I do love the fact that the door the army people barricade was in inward swinging door. And as the thing walks very slowly towards them, the Dr. idiot turns the generator off. He gets tackled and they run back to the thing, who is patiently waiting for them to get their things in order to kill him. As they wait for it to get into the butter zone, the doctor runs towards it and tried to reason with it… and it clobbers him. It ends with the thing getting killed and the reporter guy, that I totally forgot to talk about, gets his story.

Keep watching the skies, guys and gals.

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Posted in Blog, Movie Reviews, Sci-fi

Barbarella, a movie review by Lene

Posted on October 11, 2011 | 2 comments

First off I have no idea why I decided to download this movie, but I did and now I have to watch it. *sighs*

The special effects used at the start of the movie during the credits are amazing. Well, basic and…ok.. not really amazing. Inventive.. I’ll give them that. They would have been better if they did NOT show the reflections from both camera as the visor goes down and of her hands when she takes of her gloves. And I love how her hair is not effected by the zero-g she’s supposed to be in. Must be a special space shampoo or something. And after like 3 minutes and 30 seconds it becomes clear why this movie was made. Nudity.
I read on IMdB that Barbarella was based on a comic, and it made me want to find out more about it. And I did. Let’s just say… grown comics… <.<;;
Another thing. Her spaceship. It’s so not how I’d decorate mine, to be honest.
Again I must stress that I have no idea why I downloaded the movie. I really had no wish to look at Jane Fonda’s naked boobs. But it has been years since I’ve seen it, the movie.. not her boobs… and I think I’ve always missed the beginning.
OMG! A green sparkler is attacking her ship!!!
It must be great to have a spaceship you don’t have to navigate. Wonder if that’s the function of “cruise control” on a car. I shall get my drivers license, get a car and find out.
A pink spaceship? That’s what I would have done to mine… or make it a blue police box…
OMG!!! EVIL TWINS!!! … ca

(This is where I figured out that this movie review was shit.. so I stopped…)

TAKE TWO!!!!
F**k me, I can’t do this… *hangs head*

All I can say is.. the movie was made because of boobs and nudity.. and probably for the movie makers to see how far they could go with the comic theme.
As I’ve said I found out from ImDb that it used to be a comic, and honestly the movie makers could have done far far worse… both sex wise and other.. lol

The first time I saw it, ages and ages ago, the only thing I remembered was the sex machine thing. Honestly, it’s a hard thing to forget. Not to mention her costumes… and the sex…
Even if, in the future, they find out that sex is redundant, I very much doubt people will give it up.
And I think only people who never get any find it redundant.

There… I tried…
The movie is shit!!! Go watch something else, for the sake of your fathers!

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Posted in Movie Reviews, Sci-fi

Resident Evil: Afterlife, a Lene review.

Posted on September 24, 2011 | Comments Off on Resident Evil: Afterlife, a Lene review.

*SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER**SPOILER**etc*

The movie starts off pretty bumping. Japan, in the wain, a person attacking people. This is where the other movie left off, where Alice contacted whomever and said she was coming. Well, she came and not in the delicious way. So she, all of hers, kick some hapanese ass. We also get introduces to Wesker, again.. not as cool as in the game, but pfft. And later we meet Chris, also from the game… and some people seemingly infected by the Umborosboros, from the game… and the huge dude with the giant axhammer..
Anyways… Alice goes to Alaska, to find Arcadia, but finds only Clair Redfield from the other movie. She has a strange metal bug on her chest that is making her go nuts, but Alice manages to kick her ass. She removes the bug and they fly to Hollywood… like you do… There they find survivors and crash their plane into the jail where the survivors are holding up. Most of the survivors are OK, except for the douchbag… THey all think they are safe until they find out they aren’t. So they decide to let Chris lead them to safety. Appearently he was put in jail by someone.. I think it was the prisoners… like a final “Fuck you, pig” like thing.. Not that he is police… he be army.. or something… can’t remember.. didn’t have much sleep last night.. I’ll tell you all about it in the round-up tomorrow.. *sighs*
ANYWAY!!!! Chris says he knows how they can get out of jail, because appearently the army had a secret gun stash hidden IN JAIL!!! So.. seeing as the basement is filled with water that they have to go through to get to the gun room.. a few of them go.. Chris, Alice and a chick who swam in school… to get guns..while some dude is trying to keep the huge big dude with the axhammer from smashing through the front gate and flood the compound with infected another dude is looking at the van Chris was talking about to get them out. The motor has been taken out of it… and the douchbag figures out that if he is to live he needs to get his ass out.. so he shoots the dude and steals the plane Alice and Clair came in.
Needless to say the huge dude with the axhammer manages to rip the gates down… and the jail gets infested by infected… so the survivors decide to escape through the hole the infected came in through… Yeah, they did get in.. Never seen a tunneling zombie? yeah, they get in and kill the chick swimming with Chris and Alice… *shrug*
They eventually get out, but they lose a few people along the way.
They get to the Arcadia… which is a boat and NOT the promised land, and as they investigates they see the Umbrella emblem, and Clair starts to remember… that they got to Alaska and as they landed people arrived in smaller boats to help them out.. and they attacked them and planted metal bugs on them. A door opens and General Ackbar is all “IT’S A TRAP!!” Ok, so Alice is all “It’s a trap”. Now… if I think something is a trap I head the other way.. and fast.. but not them.. They have people to save.. and they do… And then Alice finds Wesker and his puppies. Let’s just put it like this: “Shit gets killed”, the heros win.. but only just.
There will be another movie. If not then that cliffhanger will get the director killed.
All in all it’s an OK movie. I do feel that they are trying too hard.. or not hard enough.,. I don’t know. I like it, but I don’t know. I guess I didn’t see enough zombies… and I missed not having any lickers there.. or any cool monsters… just the huge dude with the axhammer.
One thing that annoyed me was how they almost carbon copied the fight between Wesker and Chris at the end. Almost exactly like the one in Resident Evil 4, the game. At least I think it was 4.
There is also alot of Matrixy stuff in it.
Oh, well… If you have an hour and a half to spare and you want to watch something where you don’t have to think, be my guest. Personally I like the two first movies more.

 

Lene

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Piranha 3D, a Lene review

Posted on September 13, 2011 | 9 comments

Let it be known that I did not get to see the whole movie, and I have been scouting for it so that I could see the whole thing.
I came in right before the half way mark, when people on a boat were having fun with tequila and cameras. It became appearent to me pretty soon why this movie was made, and I could imagine this conversation between the ideamakers of this movie:
A:”So, how can we make a movie with boobs in it?”
B:”I don’t know. Where do you usually find alot of boobs?”
*long pause*
A:” I KNOW!! SPRINGBREAK!!”
B:”OMG!! BRILLIANT!!”
A:”…so….”
B:”Girls, alcohol, wet t-shirts,boobs, douchbags, boobs, more alcohol, bikinis, tits in 3D coming at you, more tits, some blood and gore, boobs and fish.”
A:”Sounds good to me..”
B:”I just love boobs so much” *cries*

from what I’ve read ib ImDb, there was an earthquake…and it created a rift to a lake within a lake, freeing piranha’s from days gone by… like a million years ago or something. They are alot more agressive than their amazonian relatives, so they soon start to eat everything within sight. The police find out and try to stop springbreakers from bathing in the lake where the piranha’s are, but young people being young people, they are stupid and don’t listen to reason.
There is also a backstory, as there always is, but it’s boring.
The movie does have a few celebs:
Richard Dreyfuss
Elisabeth Shue
Christopher Lloyd
Jerry O’Connell to mention a few.
Kinda distracting to have Lloyd in a movie that’s not Back to the FUture. You keep expecting him to exclaim “GREAT SCOTT!” when something happens.

Let me just say that… if you want to watch boobs, blood and things that could never happen, and I don’t mean the piranha’s, but just the way people die…. like one chick got her hair caught in a boats propeller and she douch in the boat tried to start it, and eventually he managed to start the boat, and it ripped the chicks face and hair clean off. It gave me a good laugh, though.
Honestly, I’m disapointed. It’s not like I expected a tender love story or anything, but they could have made a movie consisting of more than boobs.
But this is just my opinion. You might love the movie…and if you do, odds are you’re a guy. As a girl I don’t see the facination with boobs flapping through water. That’s part of the 3D effect, by the way. It kinda works, but not all the way because you don’t have the right equipment. If I did get a 3D player and TV and all that, I might get the full effect…not that I’d enjoy it…cause it’s basically boobs.

So… watch it or don’t watch it… I don’t care, really.

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Posted in Action, Comedy, Movie Reviews, Sci-fi

The Day of the Triffids (2009)

Posted on March 2, 2010 | 6 comments

The Day of the Triffids (2009) a movie review.. a bit here and there.. not really that well written…

**SPOILER** **SPOILER** **SPOILER** **SPOILER** **SPOILER** and bad language…

is you don’t get it there’s no hope for you…
but to begin..
O! M! G!
I mean.. there is probably some reason why one shoudn’t remake classics, but if the remake has Eddie Izzard in it, I don’t see the problem… I don’t, frankly, care if people find it bad etc.. it has Eddie Izzard in it for fuck sake.
But honestly, it’s not a remake remake, seeing as the meteor shower that made people blind and which signaled the comming of the Triffids in the 1962 movie is in this one a sunstorm. There is still a guy who’s had his eyes operated on, but this guy seems to be a doctor, specialized in Triffids (well, that’s handy). Seems this they have been on earth for ages and has come to a “symbiotic relationship” with humans. And it seems that “Triffid Oil” helped earth from global warming.
But back to the important bit. Eddie Izzard. About 10 min. or so into the moive we meet him on a plane. He was asleep through the whole sunstorm thing so he is the only one on the plane who can see. As soon as he wakes up it seems that he gets the situation and starts saving his own ass. And I love it. You know me. I love bad guys. He was somewhat badguy in “My super ex-girlfriend” but that doesn’t really count because what he did he did out of love. But is it love in this movie too, me thinks. Love for himself, love of life and wanting to survive and I fankly see nothing wrong with that.
But yeah… he does have that “I am a bad guy” look to him. Even with make-up. I think it’s the eyebrows. They are so devlish XD
But yes… Maybe a little power trippy too, but that alright. I think he might be wanting the “ruler of the world” title, but that’s alright too…
But honestly, besides Eddie and daughter Redgrave it seems they threw everything but the kitchen siink at this thing to see if anything would stick.
For an over two hour long movie it is filled with somewhat boring stuff.
I wonder if they used ome of the old BBC series as a guide thingie too. I never really payed much attention to the series becuse.. well… I like the good old movie best…
I read a, os should I said I looked briefly at a comment thing about this 2009 remake on imDb, and it saud it was shit. This person clearly don’t enjoy the brilliance that is Eddie Izzard. I guess I’m just a huge ass fan of his.
I kinda get the “28 days later” vibe from this. The only thing missing in this movie is that the people who gets killed by the Triffids stay dead and don’t come back to life, which would make it even more thrilling. XD
What I don’t get is why it’s being called horrible when clearly it’s brilliantly made.
ex. As I said Eddie is a bad guy and when he meets Major Roker (Jason Priestley), who wants to help the blind and thus puts spanners in Torrence’s (Eddie) wheels, he does what he sees fit and undermines him, takes over and convinces Jo (Redgrave daughter) to make an emergency broadcast thing on the radio. As he is talking about how pleased Roker will be about it and stuff the camera pans over and several faces of Eddie appears (two faced, double crossing… speaking with forked tongue, if you will (in case it escaped you)).
Well, I thought it was brilliant anyway..
And mother Redgrave is in it too. Not untill the second half. Yes, it’s a two parter. But if I can do it, so can you. Another thing I don’t get is why Venessa Redgrave keeps picking complex, slightly evil, whtout being evil really, charecters. She does them well, I’ll give her that, but I’d love to see her as a sweet lady, for once.
OK. There is only one thing I have to poo-poo upon in this second half.
In the first half the good doctor gets sent away by Torrence and he in turn tells Jo that he died. And, of course, she believes him. But then she realises he’s full of shit and runs away. They, the doctor and Jo, eventually meet and they are all =D, laughing and other happy stuff. And then she gives him his belongings and they dance. Like you always do.. right? Well, I do… whenever my Jan comes home from work we always dance <.< And second half, not so fun, even thought you get the conclution to the whole thing.. They run away to the Isle of Wsomething... there they start to take out the Triffids and they all live happily ever after... And in the second half you get less Eddie.. and you jus tknow he's going to die because of his assholery... All in all... I liked it. If you're not into the whole sci-fi thing and have no idea who Eddie Izzard is then you probably won't like it.. lol But I still think it's worth a gander.

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Posted in Action, Movie Reviews, Sci-fi

I’m bored (Kinda a 28 Days Later movie review.. but my heart isn’t in it)

Posted on October 24, 2009 | 6 comments

Mood: Bored
Listening to: 28 Days Later soundtrack. More specifically “In the House – In a heartbeat”
I knew I had heard it someplace before when I heard it in a Resident Evil fan thingie on youtube… And I couldn’t remember WHERE I got it from… but I wanted to watch 28 Weeks Later, and couldn’t find one that works… So I tried to listen to some music on youtube instead and there it was…  =3=  *wobbles*

But it doesn’t diminish my boredomness…. and seeing as I love to hear my own voice, I thought I’d type a little.
That’s one of the problems when I’m bored..
I get all nonsensical. And try to expand on my vocabulary.

I wasn’t planning on making this a movie review.. so I won’t put it as one.. but seeing as I’m in the 28 Days Later mood, I might as well, right?
It is a must see movie…

What would you have done if you woke up in the hospital one day and no one was around. You can’t remember anything, well hardly anything… well, except that you lost an argument with a car…
Honestly. Even though it is a good movie… well… there are things that makes me think a little..
The guy, Jim, wakes up after 28 days in a coma, yeah? Well… if everyone turned into zombies, how come he didn’t die of dehydration? Well, Lene… Not everyone turned all at once, so there would have been some people left to treat people in hospitals and stuff…
Then, why wasn’t he evacuated with the other people?
Could be that his condition were such that he couldn’t be moved? Seeing as he had massive head trauma.
well… Anyways.. Jim wanders around London, screaming HELLOOO?!??! getting very upset… Which I can totally understand. I’d be out of my mind had I woken up and no one was around, anywhere.
But he eventually meets a priest who tried to beat his ass, a guy, on fire, who wants to beat his ass… so I guess he thinks everyone hates him.. until he meets Selena and some other guy… the other guy gets bitten after they go to Jim’s parents house and they find them dead… Oh… btw.. SPOILER!!!!
So Selena killes him and they both agree that if either one gets infected that the otherone will kill him/her.
They, Selena and Jim, soon spots Christmas lights and finds people… Mr Mad Eye Moody and his daughter.
They find,on the radio, a call thingie that tells people to get their ass to someplace fast and stuff, and they all leave.
Well there they met military people.. or what’s left of a unit, I guess.. but best of all =3= Christopher Eccleston <3
The most handsome Dr Who… The Doctor… but not THE Doctor… THE Doctor is Tom Baker…
So yeah.. anyway… they find out that everyone, but the girls, are expendable… and seeing as Mr Mad Eye gets killer before they met the soldier people, that only leaves Jim to be sorted. However, he has a cunning plan… as a jet flies overhead he lies down and plays dead.
And after that Selena gives the daughter girl drugs so she won’t feel anything.. and Jim comes to save them… and he goes crazy bat shit on their asses. But he gets shot as they drive away… as those of the soldiers who doesn’t get killed by Jim gets killed by soldiers who’s been infected.. or ragefied.
There are two endings to this movie.  One where Jim dies and one where he wakes up and they are all far far far out in the country where the zombies can’t get to them without starving first.
So, if they meet a zombie with a well packed backpack they are in trouble.
OH, I almost forgot… Selena almost killed Jim because she thought he was infected.. but then she hesitates and he says “That was longer than a heartbeat” which is where this melody comes into the picture.. it is such an amazing melody…
Makes me all goose pimply…
So… in other news…
Jan rented a dumpster thingie.. huge ass dumpster thingie where we can throw all the trash we have in our house…
So already we’ve cleaned out all that’s not being used from the garage (including my bike.. bye bye XD *waves happily*) and a lot of trash that we found while taring down the old out house… things that we didn’t have room to throw last time we rented one of those dumpster thingies.
And I’ve thrown out loads of toys belonging to the kids.. and more to come tomorrow…
And I made pizza for dinner today… mmmmm… twas good.. Haven’t had it in ages and ages…
*yawns*
And there’s a Torchwood Marathon on TV… Of course there is now when I can’t watch it.. *sighs*
Well, I can, but I choose to stay on my computer. I prefer to watch Torchwood when I’m alone. That way I don’t have to listen to stupid comments from others.
*sighs* I’m so restless… I hate it when the movie site is down… Even if he hasn’t uploaded a movie, there is always something to do… or talk to.. or comment…
What’s happened??? D=
At least I know it isn’t my fault this time… lol
Meh, I’m going back to youtube to look at cool stuff… :3

Lene

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Posted in Blog, Horror, Movie Reviews, Sci-fi

Alien Trespass, a Lene review

Posted on October 10, 2009 | 3 comments

Mood: Happy ^_^
Listening to: Nothing at the moment.. but will be watching “War of the Planets” quite soon…
And I’m happy because I got a moose steak =D Nommie dinner on new years eve ^_^

Right.. the movie

ALIEN TRESPASS!!! *Spoiler alert*

Starring:
Eric McCormack (Will, from “Will &Grace”)
Jenni Baird (I have no idea who she is… )
Robert Patrick (The T-model thingie robot from Terminator 2)
Jody Thompson (I have no idea who she is either)

There are more people in it, but I can’t be arsed to list them all… ImDb the movie if you’re wondering :3
So.. the movie..
It’s a lovely homage to the good old sci-fi classics like “It Came from Outer Space”, “The Day The Earth Stood Still” and “The War of the Worlds” (although, I fail to see the connection…)..and actually “I Married a Monster from Outer Space” (kinda).
Even though the movie is in colour, with modern everything, it’s filmed in the way it would be filmed in the 50’s, the actors acted as the actors did back then and the clothes are nicely time appropriate.
I’ve always loved the 50’s… and the 60’s… and the 20’s… I think I have an old soul… but I digress..

At the beginning of the movie you get a sort of “news reel” bit that you normally got at the movies before the movies started back in the 50’s (At least I think so… I wasn’t born back then, so I have to admit I woldn’t know exactly when they started showing news reels before movies…) and it’s about the movie in question. The actor jokingly quips about how the director will have his *beep* if he told anyone and so forth. It gives it a nice reality feel to it.
And then the movie start.
I have to admit, again, that I was very slow the day I saw it.  As the movie starts you see a woman painting, and she’s watching TV, and she sees the actor from the news reel… and is all ZOMG, HUNK!!
And then you see a house, with a woman out front and a man in the kitchen, seasoning the meat… No, get your mind out of the gutter… *slaps*
This is where I started thinking “Oh, great. It’s the classic comedy ‘doppleganger’ mixups…” not realising that it’s a movie within a movie…
So yeah.. the guy seasoning the meat (NO!!) is a scientist.. a star gazer if you will… normal egghead… and the woman out front is his wife. And appearently they have been married for a few years… and very happily too, it seems…
Anyways, his name is Ted Lewis, and his wife is Lana Lewis… They are waiting for a meteor shower. It seems like everyone in town is waiting for it. Even the kids at Look out point, or snog mountain or whatever the name of it was, are “looking” at the stars. Well, the guy is trying to look at the stars, she is busy figting of his busy hands. And they are going to get married and all that.
To jump ahead a little… a UFO crashes… and soemthing escapes the UFO before the guy driving the darn thing gets out… so he has to hunt the thing down. the thing that escapes is called either a Goda, Degoda, Thegoda or something like that.
Everyone rushes to see what’s happened. Well, not everyone.. it seems like falling meteors aren’t as interesting. A drunkard goes to see, and he runs away. Lewis goes to see, and he disappears.
The next morning he comes driving back, however, and seems to be acting very odd. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he has been “taken over” by the driver of the UFO. But at least he’s a nice person and all that.  He wants Lana to be safe and asks her if she will help him… but seeing as he’s acting weird I guess the only thing she’ll help with is getting him put away in the loony bin…
But he gets away from her and starts his search for the Ghota, and he gets help from the chick who watched the news thingie of him on tv as she was painting.  Needless to say that the Ghota starts killing people… How? Tentacle attack and slurp. Yes, it noms all the parts of the human body that isn’t water or something like that.
Of course when people start hearing about a monster on the lose, they scoff at it and go about their business…. people being the police… untill one of them gets killed… and then another… and more people.
Eventually the Ghota, which has split in two, even though the taken over Lewis said that if that happened it would spell doom for the earth.. which it didn’t… is stunned and taken back to the UFO…
and every person who survived goes up there to see them off… by trying to kill them… But after heartfelt words the silly humans realise they shouldn’t go around shooting first and no0t bothering with the questions… and “Lewis” (real name Ugh..no wait… Urp… comes with realisations too… that humans aren’t as worthless and stupid as he thought… *sighs*

If you love good old sci-fi movies then by all means, don’t miss it.
It is a very lovely movie made very very well. The cast is solid and act, like I said, just as the actors would back in the day. A tad over acting, maybe, but that’s to be expected.
The movie is charming and lovely. The monsters are what you’d expect from a 50’s movie, simplistic in it’s making, but kinda of terrorfying when you realise just what they do to you.
And Urp, the hero… Just what you’d expect from a hero form outer space. Just a guy trying to do his job….
The heroine… a chick trying to make it in this crazy world.
I absolutely recommend this movie… it’s a gem…

Lene

3 Comments

Posted in Comedy, Movie Reviews, Sci-fi

Resident Evil I, II and III

Posted on October 1, 2009 | 5 comments

Mood: happy
listening to: Oh.. hang on :3  Dr. Who Theme song… from the new series… *plays air guitar*

So yes… HERE BE SPOILERS!!! You have been warned..

Resident Evil I
It starts off with a nice day at the office… People run to catch elevators, busy themselves with getting to their cubicle in time and everyone is quite jovial towards one another. Well, except for that one rude guy who crashes into the guy with the coffee who gets his mugful down his shirt. But already dirty deeds have been done.
Someone has been in the lab and pilfered the T-Virus and the antivirus…. AND to make matters worse, the person has “accidentally” dropped one of the phials of T-Virus… and it’s now making its way through the ventilation system.. making the security systems go hey-wire, locks shit down and kills people by the means of drowning, gassing, decapitation and that’s about it… Still.. getting decapitated by an elevator isn’t my idea of a peaceful death.
So yeah… the Red Queen (Security system) calms down eventually and we cut to a lovely young lady in a shower… out cold. When she comes to her hair is fantastic!!! and she doesn’t seem to remember anything. Her name is Alice, but she doesn’t know that… at least I don’t think she does. Anyways.. it doesn’t matter… She starts walking around her Manson, finds a dress, puts it on and explores more, finds a drawer with guns in it which doesn’t seem to make her recoil in horror. Especially seeing as the lock mechanism in the lock box is pretty advanced. One might go so far as to suggest she might be a pro at something… So.. anyways… she goes outside and gets spooked by something, gets dragged inside by a guy, let’s for argument sake call him Matt (he’s the boss man to Ugly Betty), and seconds later soldiers crash through the windows, tackle the dude and slap handcuffs on him… How’s THAT for rape prevention? Too bad the guy is innocent… The leader of the soldier troop, One (yes, that’s what they call him), takes of his helmet and asks Alice if she’s alright and if she remembers anything.. and she says No… and he takes them down to the basement which just happens to have a train to the Umbrella Corporation… which happens to be deep in the bowels below the Manson. And they have like 2 some hours to find out what the hell happened down there and come back before the doors close forever and ever… and ever… on the train they find a new guy who also has no memory of what happened. Oh, the dude who got handcuffed don’t remember anything either. Incidentally the guy they find on the train looks just like a guy in a picture with Alice… which makes her think that just maybe they have a history.  I mean… she remembers them fumbling in bed… and then the handcuffed dude asks her if she remembers anything and she’s not sure.. I think… haziness…
Eventually they get to the place they need to be.. but it’s all shut down. So the tech guy will have to do some magic to get the system to start working… and he does it.. YAY! So just about half the assault team goes into the small corridor leading to the heart of the Red Queen… to shut her down so that they can explore. Well.. they make it into the corridor.. the system closes the doors.. and as a final “fuck you” the red queen turns on her laser beam… one looses his fingers… one gets cut in two at the waste… one gets her head cut of.. and the last one, One, gets diced up… literary.. I’m not kidding… the laser turns into a grid and it dices him up… To me it’s pretty awesome.. =D But then I’m into the gory stuff ^_^ Mr. Tech guy works his fingers to the bone to get the laser to stop lasering and get the doors opened just as One’s pieces slides to the floor. And of course the bad ass “I stand totally alone, I hate the world” chick, Rain, is pissed off at the techy guy, unrightly so, in my eyes.. he can’t help it if the red queen is sneaky. But yeah.. she’s all scowls and basically very ugly looking. I mean… Alice looks quite normal. When she’s pissed off you can tell she’s pissed of… she doesn’t scowl and basically look very ugly… maybe Rain could have played the “I hate the world” bit down a tad and she’d be looking nice… instead of a retard, I mean… I guess that’s “strong” women for you.
Anyways… they manage to lock down the red queen.. but not before the hologram of her tells them they will all die down there.  Upon their shutting down everything they really do shut down everything.. Everything from locks to doors etc. So.. whatever died down there, was made down there etc.. is on the lose. (I know there is something there because earlier they walked past a water filled lab with a person hovering amazingly in the middle of view… and as they walk away the person opens her eyes and touches the glass… so something is alive down there)
The soldier people talk and then they hear something, Rain goes to check it out, sees a lab type person, tells the person they’ll get her out and stuff… and the person bites Rain on the hand as thanks… Rain, being the lovable person she is, responds by shooting the living crap out of her… that is if the person had any living crap. The other soldier people come to and ask her why she shot the poor lady and Rain gets all pissy, scowls even more and tells them that the person got hostile. Personally, I don’t blame the person to take a chunk out of her… not with her sour disposition.
So yeah.. it becomes quite clear that the place is swarming with dead people. So they make a hasty retreat. However, I think they go back to charge up the red queen first… I’m not sure… damn, I should have taken notes.. XP
Well… on their way they run into masses of zombies, more zombies, zombie dogs, mutants and super mutants. And Alice starts to remember more and so does handcuff guy, who is actually there to find his sister.. who just happens to be Alice’s contact… Back story is that they were trying to get the T-virus out and destroy the Umbrella corporation. However, the guy Alice was supposed to be married to was working for the corporation, thwarted Alice in her attempts to get the virus, and broke the phial of virus that killed all the people down there. So he’s quite clearly the baddy.
Oh.. and Rain, quite justly, turns into a zombie too. I know people love her for her tough RAWRACTIONGIRL persona.. but I just think she could have done it without looking constipated.
OH… and the bad guy gets ravaged by big BIG mutant, who mutates even more and comes for the rest of them.
Anyways.. The bitten and scratched gets the antivirus, but sadly it doesn’t work.. so Rain goes RAWR and finally A SMILE! even if the teeth are all narly and ugh..
Let’s just say that in the end Alice and Matt are the only ones standing.. and they get out with 13 seconds to spare.. But then they get jumped by spacemen!!! no, just kidding… Umbrella corporation medical team in space suits. Seeing as Matt was clawed by the uber monster he’s starting to mutate too.. *tear* as Alice is beside herself, kicking ass, while screaming his name. *tear more*
They are taken away, and she later comes to in a room with tubes sticking out from basically everywhere. No one seems to want to come to her aid, so she has to to stuff herself, rips the tubes out, hot wires the door and walks into the chaotic streets. No one is there. Cars have crashed.. headlines say “Dead come back to life” or something like that.. and end movie.
Cameo in this movie is Jason Isaacs. He got the narrator sexy voice and Dr. Blue Eyes at the end of the movie.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (Resident Evil II)
It starts with people going nuts.. It’s the first time I’ve seen the whole thing, and I can’t remember EVERYTHING that happens… But I think we see a spunky woman, not her face, obviously… getting dressed like Lara Croft.. or kinda like you’d imagine Alice would dress if given a choice. So she, the woman, wanders in to a police station and starts shooting dead people… and you think YAY!! YOU KICK ASS, ALICE!!! until you see her face and you see it’s not Alice at all… kinda disappointing.. but I guess Valentine is OK.. if you’re a guy…
Then we see the end of the last movie.. Alice waking up, ripping the tubes and escaping the hospital to the mean deserted streets..
And as the Umbrella Corporation figures out that people are getting ugly… as in turning into zombies… they pick up everyone who just happen to be important… One of the scientists have a daughter, who gets picked up, but the car gets trashed by a truck and well.. it’s up to some soldiers to find her… One of the soldiers is Oded Fehr, in this movie Olivera…(in The Mummy – Ardeth Bay (nommie))
Anyways… the streets are dangerous… the people are zombies, no where is safe.. not even church… A gaggle of teethy, nasty, clawing, long tongued mutants have taken residence in one of them and is picking off people, one by one… until Alice crashed through the window on a motorbike and saves people. She is now fully clothed, is fully armed with nice guns and is mean… rawr… and Valentine gets all bitchy because this woman has stolen her kick ass style and is moving in on her turf “Who the hell are you?” *hair toss*
They get a call from the father of the girl and take on the assignment to find her.. They make it to the school, with the exception of Alice who had to take on an uber cool mutant which is totally bad ass…
But Valentine, TJ (a guy from the police station..) and a news lady (doesn’t matter, she dies) gets there, finds the girl.. and for some reason every kid in school is dead.
Now, I have to admit that I watched this on youtube.. which has a lot of idiotic comments attached. Like in the first movie.. when the guy “dropped” the phial of the T-Virus one person got all “WHY DID HE DO THAT????” Think, man! It was intentional… And in this one.. “Why would they bring zombie dogs to a school full of children?”  Ever think that the dogs were ok when they got there and THEN turned into zombie dogs??? Do I have to think of EVERYTHING???
But yeah… Valentine and TJ meets up with the soldiers, Carlos Olivera and Nicholai Ginovaeff, but sadly Nicholai dies. Valentine finds the girl and meets up with some zombie dogs.. in the school kitchen… She has no more bullets so she turns on the gas, and as they run out she lights a match and throws it in, but it goes out. Luckily Alice turns up, flicks a cigarette into the gas mass and it goes poof.. in slow mo… as she whips a fire blanket over her and the girl.. and Valentine gets flung across the room. And then Alice and the girl, who is the spitting image of the red queen from the hive in the first movie, has a heart to heart. And lo and behold.. the girl has the t-virus AND the antivirus.
So they make their way back to the girls father, who just got caught by some doctor dude… apparently it’s illegal to want your kid safe in times of zombie infestations.. *shrug*
It seems the only thing the doctor really wanted was Alice. To come there and fight huge mutant thing… which turns out is Matt from the other movie. I guess too much t-virus.. or too much antivirus is a bad thing. But he’s a VERY cool mutant. Kinda reminds me of Mr. Grin from one of those Hell box movie thingies… Hellraiser. Mr. Grin from Hellraiser.
but yeah…. they fight… and Alice finds it hard to kill the poor sod… And again Mr. Mutant Matt finds out some things about his “bosses” and gets a little pissed off. Well… eventually he helps them escape by sacrificing his own life *tear*
And the doctor dude gets tossed to the zombies. And there’s another doctor dude there called Dr. Isaacs. (trivia you have no interest in but amuses me: The director is a friend of Jason Issacs and named Dr. Issacs after him.. ) He wants Alice… and lucky for him, he gets her. As they fly away in the helicopter something happens and a thing flies towards the girl and Alice jumps in front of her to save her life… They find the helicopter crashed and Alice’s body, apparently dead.
However… a few months or weeks later she wakes up in a fish tank… and is brought out of the water by Dr. Isaacs. She is all wtf? at first, but then she remembers everything, kicks some ass and escapes. And on the way out she finds out she has awesome powers of telekinetic nature and kills a security guard just by looking at the camera.
On the outside Valentine, TJ (yes, he survived *shock*) and Olivera for her and take her away. But it’s clean that the corporation has done something to her… end movie…

Resident Evil: Extinction (Resident Evil: III)
It’s all dry… the earth as we know it is dry. People are zombies.. the ones who survived are moving around to escape getting eaten.
A convoy started by some chick is trucking through the deserts of America… along with her are loads of kids, TJ (yeah, he’s still hanging in there) and Olivera…
Alice is there too.. not with the convoy, but in the deserts… She gets captured by some people who are truly fucked in the head. For their own enjoyment they toss people who respond to their “distress” call into a pit with zombie dogs… but of course Alice is smart and escapes…
Eventually the convoy and Alice meet up… Luckily it’s in the middle of a zombie crow attack.. and she flambes all the crows with a flamethrower and her telecethingie… Olivera is happy, at least…
But yeah… as soon as the convoy chick finds out some stuff, she wants Alice to leave. Because.. in a convoy there can only be one hot chick..
Anyways… they decide to go to Alaska.. but have to go to Las Vegas first to get food and gas.
Unfortunately the zombies are clown zombies too.. because they are all hiding in a clown container… which works just like a clown car… it’s amazing how many can fit into that container thingie… but yeah… almost all of them gets whipped out. Oh.. and TJ gets turned into a zombie… and he bites Olivera before he dies…
And the corporation is there too.. and they manage to somehow turn Alice off.. in the middle of a zombie battle they turn her off… but she fights it.. and finds out where they are.. kills people and stuff, but Dr. Isaacs manages to escape.. but gets bit… and od’s on antivirus.. and mutates.. into.. tentacle man… with sonic boom rawr…
But yeah.. They find out where the corporation is holding up… basically it’s just follow the stench of rotting zombie flesh.. duh… but seeing as the zombies all of a sudden can’t climb stuff (even though they climbed the Eiffel tower in Las Vegas with ease) all the zombies are standing outside the fence leading to the place where the Umbrella stuff is staying.
So.. Olivera gets a plan… seeing as he is going to die anyways, might as well go out with a bang.. so he jumps into one of the trucks, loads it up with TNT and crashed into zombies… prays for one last weed, finds it and lights the fuse.. and goes out with a bang…
This paves the way for the rest of the people who jump in the helicopter and takes of to Alaska.. save Alice.. who has some ass to kick…
She meets Dr. Tentacle man and they have it out… And Alice finds a copy of herself.. in a fish tank.. and it bursts.. so now there are two.. but the fish tank one dies… so one is left..
And then they fight some more and end up in the corridor with the laser thingie from the first movie.. and Dr. tentacle face is all HAH! I WILL KILL YUUU!!! and Alice laughs and say “we’ll both die down here” and the laser starts up… turns into a grid and slices Mr tentacle man into pieces. And the beam stops miraculously just in front of Alice.. and we see fish tank Alice standing by the controls…
Then.. in Japan… the corporation is all “ZOMGWHATAREWEGONNADOWE’REGONNADIE!” and some dude tells them to chill out or soemthing and Alice beams in and tells them she’ll be right over with a few friends.. and you see Alice and fish tank Alice looking at row after row of Alice’s.. many many rows…
And end movie…

Hope you enjoyed it..

Lene

5 Comments

Posted in Horror, Movie Reviews, Sci-fi