Category Archives: Blog

Sunday Round-up… looong overdue… like wow, man…

Posted on September 18, 2011 | 2 comments

Mood: Good, but tired…
Listening to: Silent Hill walkthrough on youtube… seriously. Game walkthroughs are like movies. Some of the people add their voice to the walkthrough, and that can be annoying or hilarious. I was watching one the other day of Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and the guy playing it was being followed by a monster… and he screamed like a girl. XD Fun fun.

So..
Yesterday night I was sitting here, on my computer… when my cellphone rang. Not an unusual thing… but the number was one I didn’t recognise. So I picked it up and said Hello.. like you do… And a guy introduced himself and said we had met each other someplace, can’t recall the name now… or the place.. lol
And he then said he had heard I was having a party and he was embarrassed to ask, but he wondered if he could come.
O.O
I told him I was not having a party.. and he said “But this is (my full name), right?” Yeah, but I’m still not having a party today. So we said our goodbyes and he hung up…
And that’s when I started getting paranoid. What if he had one of those numbers that sends him my money >.<
Especially annoying when I searched the number online and it came up with nothing.
I even dreamt about it last night… layer upon layer of how he had a grand scheme of luring people to a website (where we had met, apparently) and that if you typed in anything on that site you got charged loads of money… I had typed like three sentences and had racked up a bill of over $2000.
So this morning I checked the number again on a number search engine online and it said that the owner had a hidden number… so that sucked donkeybutt…

In other news…
Jan told me earlier this year, while we were doing the kitchen, that as a bday gift this year he’d give me a cellphone.. because he knows I want a new one. He got a new cellphone earlier, the one I wanted.. like flaunting it in my face every day… a Sony Ericsson Xperia x10 mini pro… Then I looked some more online and saw that the Sony company would be releasing an upgraded version, the Xperia mini pro.. so I wanted that one instead. And so started the wait for it to be released. It finally did, but then they decided to not release it in the pink one I wanted >.<  So I decided I wanted a white one. But then I saw the Xperia Arc… and it was soo cool… but loads more expensive. I was looking at a clip on youtube of someone with an xperia mini pro, how cool it was and so on, and then compared it to the arc.. and at that moment Jan came around the corner and asked me what that was.. and I told him that it was the mini pro and the arc… that the arc was cool but so utterly more expensive than the mini pro…
Suddenly one day Jan came to me and said he had ordered a cellphone for me.. the xperia arc. I almost had a heart attack when he told me. But the shock soon went away and then the waiting started. They had said that it would arrive on Friday… that’s the Friday that just passed… and no cellphone came. Then Jan called them and they said it would be sent out on Friday.. that we most likely would get it on Saturday or Monday… Needless to say… it didn’t get there yesterday.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed… I can’t wait to get my hands on it…

Other than that… I’ve been working, trying to keep my mind of the delectable cellphone heading my way. I’ll probably post pictures of it when I get it…
As of right now I’m making a tomato and onion salad for the grilled pork tenderloin we’re having for dinner later. The grilling season has ended in most of Norway, but not in our house, but it seems that this may be the last one on this side of Christmas. We bought loads of the pork tenderloins for my bday, ready marinated, and it’s one of the most delicious things I’ve ever eaten.
The tomato and onion salad is easy to make. Cut the onion into thin slices, put it in a bowl and drizzle 2 tsp of sugar over it before pouring boiling water on it.. enough to cover everything. Leave it to cool for a few hours (which is why I started now.. it takes a while for the water to cool). When the water is cold enough for you to handle the onion, pour the water of it and squeeze out any remaining water from the onion and rinse in cold water. Cut tomatoes into thin slices and put on a plate, and then put the onion over it and top with freshly ground pepper. You can also put a dressing on it if you want to. One easy one is olive oil and lemon juice.

Hope you’ll make it sometime.. it is very very tasty.

I guess that’s it, really. I can’t think of more to write about for now..

Lene

2 Comments

Posted in Blog, Sunday Round-up

^_^

Posted on August 30, 2011 | 7 comments

Who am I kidding.. I don’t have any norwegian “fans”…

Mood: Great
Listening to: Something on TV… hang on..  Matthew Morrison – Summer Rain *head poppings*

So.. As some of you might have heard… I’ve been doing some renovations here at home. Both livingroom and kitchen..
I haven’t posted any pictures of it because I’ve wanted to keep it a secret from my mother and father. Luckily I managed to keep it a secret till my birthday…well, my dad came to visit me on his way to Sweden on his holidays.. and he was stunned, I think… But I threatened him to stay quiet, and he said he would.. and he was.
So… on August 9th my mum came to visit… and she was blown away… to put it mildly XD
I was chaffed to bits. So this means I can finally post the pictures I’ve taken of my new livingroom and kitchen..
Enjoy.


Yeah… red walls with breastpanels… kinda dated…


Irch… the thought of all those bugs in the walls gave me the willies while we were ripping the walls down.. but it was surprisingly freeing to do so… hehehe…

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~~~
I love love LOVE the new livingroom.. I am so enjoying spending time here now.

And then we come to the kicthen.
I’ve been doing alot of soul searching to figure out why I picked this hideous colour for my cabinet doors…
I think it’s because it’s the same colour my mother had in her “sunshine room”. I loved that colour in that room and I think I needed something to help me with the transition of moving from home to a new place.
And the fact that Jan let me do it… what a guy.. <3

Same problem here with the bugs in the walls…
Also found out why the hell we have so many mice in the winter… it’s like a freeway in those walls… or were… but we stuffed it all full of isolation now… hopefully that’ll keep them out till next summer when we’re going to tackle the veranda.. maybe… and then we can put up mouse fences along the underside of the outside walls…

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~~~~~

I LOVE THIS KITCHEN!!!! OMG!! Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined THIS!
There are still some things left to do.. but as long as I have a fully functional kitchen that I LOVE!!!! I don’t care if the boards along the ceiling and floor aren’t put in yet.
We’ve moved everything around, really. The fridge used to be on the other side of the room.. right about where I was standing to take the picture. There we have a mini freezer now.

I got new floors too.. in both the kitchen and livingroom. So much easier to clean up off these puppies than the manky old lenolium that used to be there… Only problem is that… everything shines up at you if you spill something.. like crumbs and stuff…

*Squeeee*

7 Comments

Posted in Blog

I just can’t believe it…

Posted on July 25, 2011 | 18 comments

Mood: I’m fine, a little shocked, that’s all.
Listening to: War of the Worlds – Jeff Wayne
First of all I’d like to let everyone, if I have any readers that is, know that I’m OK, my family is OK and as far as I know we didn’t lose anyone in this horrifying act of evil.

I’m sure that by now everyone knows what has happened here. I was at work when the bomb went off. Being over an hour away from Oslo I didn’t know till they told us over the radio. My first thoughts were of Camilla, my stepdaughter who work in Oslo, not too far from where the bomb went off. She’s fine too. She felt the shock of it.
Later when I came home I learned about the shooting. I didn’t know till the next day that over 60 kids had been killed in cold blood.
This is all so surreal. It’s not supposed to happen here. I’m struggling to find the words to describe the it.
The pictures from Oslo after the bombing.. it didn’t look like the Oslo I know…. at least seven dead.
I don’t even know if they have found everyone on the island.
Luckily they arrested the guy who did it. When I heard he had written a manifesto I thought at once of ‘Mine Kampf” and then they went to the Unabomber…which he actually copied some things from.
It’s been a hard weekend for so many people. Not knowing if their loved one is alive. My heart goes out to all of you.
Today all of Norway stopped at noon in sympathy for those lost.

“If one man can show this much hate, think of how much love we all can show together” -Stine Renate Håheims (survivor)

 

Lene

18 Comments

Posted in Blog

Som du sikkert ser…/As you can probably see…

Posted on July 8, 2011 | 2 comments

Humør: Bra
Lytter til: Skal vi se hva jeg kan finne… Lou Reed – Perfect Day

NORSK

Som du sikkert ser så har siden min fått ett nytt utseende. Ikke det at jeg er lei rosa, følte vel egentlig bare at det var på tide med en liten forrandring.
Jeg har også fått en liten live chat i høyre hjørne.
Håper jeg får bruk for den.
Og ja. Jeg har ikke oppdatert på lenge. Det er masse som har skjedd. Mesteparten kommer jeg til å poste bilder av i slutten av August. Kan ikke si noe mer.. 😉
Ellers jobber jeg masse. Nå er det sommerferie for sjefen snart, og jeg har fått i oppgave av henne å ta meg av papirarbeid og varebestilling mens hun er borte. Jeg hadde en varebestilling i går, men jeg vet ikke om den er “godtatt” av sjefen ennå. Jeg håper at hun ringer senere sånn at jeg finner ut om jeg har gjort noe gale eller ikke.
Og sånn kommer det til å fortsette de neste tre-fire ukene. Masse jobbing.
Også har jeg hørt at mamma kanskje kommer på besøk til bursdagen min i august. Det håper jeg at hun kan, for da er både mamma og pappa der. Jeg er kanskje snart 34 år ung, men jeg gleder meg like mye til bursdagene mine som om jeg var en unge. Jeg er bortskjemt, og bursdagen min er liksom en av de gode grunnene til å skjemme meg enda mer bort XD
Jeg har fortalt dem at jeg ønsker meg penger, for jeg har en del ting jeg har tenkt å kjøpe meg. Først og fremst en ny mp3 spiller. Min gamle har tatt kvelden 🙁 så jeg har ingen musikk å høre på i pausene mine på jobben. Det som er kult med den jeg har tenkt å kjøpe meg er at jeg kan legge inn filmer på den. Regner nok med at “Forbidden planet” finner seg veg inn på den, ja…sammen med “Revenge of the Creature” og “The Giant Spider Invasion” begge MST3K-style.
Jeg har også blitt ferdig med Dark Tower serien til Stephen King. Anbefales på det varmeste. Etter de begynte jeg å lese flere andre bøker av han: “Gerald’s Game”, “IT”, “Salem’s Lot”… begynte også på “Insomnia”, men jeg syntes den beveger seg så sakte, så den sliter jeg med.
Jeg skal prøve å holde meg mer oppdatert. Jeg er altfor lat, tror jeg.

Lene, så lenge.

ENGLISH

Mood: Good
Listening to: Lou Reed has given away to Jeff Wayne’s “War of the Worlds”. Fantastic. (I remember first time I heard it I was getting my tattoo, and I liked the sound so much I dl’d it. And when I was listening to it with my earphones on I got SOOOO paranoid. )

 

As you probably have seen, my site has a new theme. Not that I’m fed up by pink, I just felt that it was time for a small change.
I’ve also gotten a small live chat thing in the right corner.
I hope I get to use it.
And yes, I haven’t updates in a looong time. Alot has happened. Most of it I’ll be posting pictures of at the end of August. I can’t say any more about it… 😉
In other news; I work alot. Summer holiday for my boss soon, and I’ve gotten the assignment by her to do the paperwork and order things while she’s gone. I did that one yesterday, but I don’t know if it’s “good enough” for the boss yet. I hope she calls me later so that I can find out if I did a good job or not.
And this is how it’ll go on for the next three-four weeks. Alot of working.
And I’ve been told that my mom might come to visit for my bday in august. I hope she can, cause then both my mom and dad will be here. I might turn 34 soon, but I’m still excited about my bdays as ig I was a kid. I’m spoiled, and as I see it, my bdays is yet another reason to spoil me even more XD
I’ve told them that I’d like money, cause I have a few things I’d like to get. First off I need a new mps player. My old one won’t pulsate anymore 🙁 (When you plug it in to power it up, it pulsates…I’ve had it plugged in for a day and it hasn’t gotten any power in it at all…) So I have no music to listen to during my work breaks. What I also like about the one I want is that I can put movies into it, so I reacon “Forbidden Planet” will be on it as soon as I get it.
Same thing with “Revenge of the Creature” and “The Giant Spider Invasion” both MST3K-style.
I’ve also finished the Dark Tower series. I don’t remember if I said before… But I do recommend it. After those I started reading some of Stephen King’s other books: “Gerald’s Game”, “IT”, “Salem’s Lot” and I started reading “Insomnia”, but I thought it was moving soooo slooow… so I’m strugging with it.

I’ll try to keep myself updated more… I’m far too lazy, I think.. lol

Lene, for now…

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Posted in Blog

Jada, jeg vet det/Yeah, I know…

Posted on October 21, 2010 | 7 comments

NORSK!!!

Humør: Temmelig bra
Lytter til: Min seneste avhenginghet… på en måte. Jeg ser på spill gjennomganger på Youtube. Har funnet en som er dritmorsom. Masse zombie spill og sånn… =D

Men ja..
DET SNØR!!!!
Første snøen på denne siden av sommeren. Veldig tidlig i år, må jeg si.
Og akkurat nå er Jan ute med bilen.. og han bør bare kjøre pent hjem, for hvis noe skjer med han nå, så kverker jeg han!
Ellers så har det skjedd veldig lite. Ikke jobber så mye denne måneden, hittil, men det er kanskje ikke så rart med høstferie og sånn. Håper jeg får litt med å gjøre da. Trenger fortsatt penger.. hehe.
OH… Har også fått unnagjort julegaven til Jan.
Før han dro til Praha med jobben var vi innom Dressmann i Sverige og vi fant en jakke som var dritstilig på han. Semsket skinn. Så jeg sa at jeg skulle kjøpe den til han hvis han ville ha den, men han sa at det var ikke det han trengte til der nede. Det kom til å regne der, så ja. Etter han kom tilbake dro vi til Dressmann igjen og fant ikke rett størrelse. Så vi hadde tenkt å spørre i Askim. Det var på en søndag. Søndagen etter var Camilla og jeg i Sverige og jeg tenkte at jeg kunne jo stikke innom for å høre om de fikk inn jakkene igjen og damen jeg snakket med sa at hun skulle høre med sjefen om de skulle det. På mandagen etter ble jeg oppringt av sjefen som sa at de hadde bestilt jakken i riktig størrelse til meg og at den kom til å komme på lørdag. Det var nesten en uke siden. Vi var innom Sverige IGJEN på søndag og kjøpte jakken.  Nå er jeg veldig glad og lettet; og takker Dressmann i Töksfors for å være så snill =D
Fikk kjøpt meg bukse også da Camilla og jeg var i Sverige… På Zizzi.  (Phew, der kom Jan hjem)
Svart bukse. Akkurat det jeg trengte.

Skal prøve å oppdatere oftere. Jeg vet jeg ikke er flink. Men jeg føler liksom ikke at jeg har så mye å skrive om.
Driver å strikker litt… Skal se om jeg får tatt bilde og lagt de ut her. Har strikket noen luer, noen votter og noen pulsvarmere. Men med det fantastiske kameraet mitt blir det bra bilder XD

Lene

ENGLISH!!!!

Mood: Pretty goodHumør: Temmelig bra
Listening to: My latest addiction…. sort of. I’m watching game walkthroughs on Youtube. (with commentary). I’ve found this really funny guy that is just.. hillarious. So yeah.. loads of zombie killings and shit. =D

But yeah..
IT’S SNOWING!!!!
First snow this side of the summer. Very early this year, I must say..
And right now Jan is out driving… and he better drive nice and stuff, cause if anything happens to him now, I’ll kill him!

Other than that nothing much has happened. Haven’t worked much this month, thus far, but no wonder, really since there’s been fall break and stuff. But I hope I get to do more. I still need money… hehe
OH!! and I’ve gotten Jan’s christmasgift out of the way.
Before he went to Prague with work we stopped by Dressmann (a clothing store) in Sweden and we found a jacket that was sooooo snazzy on him. Suede… probably fake.. So I told him that I’d get it for him if he wanted it, but he said he didn’t need it for the trip, it was raining down there, so yeah…
After he came back we went back to Dressmann, on a Sunday, but we couldn’t find the right size, so we decided to ask in the next town one day. The following Sunday Camilla and I went to Sweden and I went into Dressmann just to ask if they were getting the jackets back, and the lady I talked to said she’d ask her boss. The following Monday the bosslady called me and said she had ordered the jacket for me and it would come on Saturday. That’s almost a week ago now… We went back AGAIN and bought the jacket. So I’m really happy and releaved now; and I thank Dressman in Töksfors for being so helpfull :3
I also bought some new black pants when Camilla and I were in Sweden.. at Zizzi’s (Phew, Jan just got home)
They were needed badly.. lol

I will try to update more often.. I know I’m not very good at it… But I don’t feel like I have too much to type about…
I’ve been knitting… I’ll see if I can take some pictures and post them… Knitted some caps and stuff… and with my fantasic camera the pictures’ll be awesome!!! XD

Lene

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Posted in Blog

Great news, Dark Tower fans!!! =D

Posted on September 9, 2010 | Comments Off on Great news, Dark Tower fans!!! =D

Mood: Extatic!!!
Listening to: My heart pounding XD

Ok, I know that I usually make my blogs in norwegian and english, but now I’m too excited to do norwegian!!
I just read that Universal had acquired the rights to produce THREE movies and an NBC series of…. *drum roll* THE DARK TOWER!!!  Yes, THEEEEE Dark Tower… the series… written by one of the bestest best writers on this earth.. Stephen King!
Ron Howard is to direct the marvel! =D
All I can hope and pray for is that they don’t ruin it. Please, please… PLEASE!!!!! Keep everything like it is in the book. I want every crook and nanny… (yes, I know.. cranny). I want Blane, the mono pain! I want the mutants… the things under the mountain… Don’t miss ANYTHING!!! PLEASE!

*sits and waits*

Oh, in other news.. I have a cold.
Actually… I think I know now how it is to be turned into a zombie.
I think that what colds do… it slowly drains you of all your fluids.. and then it turns you into a zombie….
And I got work tomorrow.. *sighs*
I hope they don’t mind if I just slowly die behind the counter.. as long as I smile and treat everyone nice, right?
I promise I won’t attack anyone and eat their brain…

Lene

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Posted in Blog

Men i alle dager/Holy smokes

Posted on September 3, 2010 | Comments Off on Men i alle dager/Holy smokes

NORSK!!!

Humør: Sånn vanlig =D
Lytter til: egentlig ingenting

Hei.
Ja, jeg vet det har vært en stund siden jeg har blogget. Men altså.. Jeg har jobb nå =D
Jeg ble ringehjelp/vikar på -nille, og jeg har hatt noe å gjøre i 4 uker nå. Ikke HVER dag da, men altså… Ja, du skjønner… Det er ikke det første jeg tenker på når jeg kommer hjem fra jobb.. eller det jeg tenker på når jeg har fri.
Men nå er jeg her… men en liten oppdatering.
Jeg har fått kjøpt meg ett nytt kamera. Speilrefleks. Nikon D3000… og jeg prøver fortsatt å lære meg hvordan ting funker. Men jeg liker det veldig godt XD
Jeg vet egentlig ikke helt hva jeg skal si, jeg. Egentlig ikke så mye å blogge om.
Har tenkt å lage sursøt saus fra bunnen av idag… håper det går bra… heh..
Skal prøve å poste restulatet… med bilde… =3
Men nå skal jeg dusje.. så hadet så lenge…

ENGLISH!!!!

Mood: As usual =D
Listening to: nothing really..

Hello.
Yes, I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged.. but.. like.. I have  a job now… =D

I’m a call-for-help/sick leave person at -nille, and I’ve been at it for 4 weeks. Not EVERY day, but like.. yeah, you know… it’s not the first thing I think of when I get home from work… or what I think about when I have days off…But now I’m here… but with a tiny update.
I got myself a new camera. A Nikon D3000… and I’m still learning how things work… but I like it a whole lot XD
I really don’t know what so say… really… I don’t have that much to blog about..
I’m planning on making chicken with sweet and sour sauce from scratch today… I hope it’ll be good.. heh…
I’ll post the result later… with picture… =3
But now I’m off for the shower…

Lene

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Posted in Blog

Så frekt! /How bold!

Posted on July 15, 2010 | 2 comments

NORSK!!!!

Humør: Veldig bra =D
Lytter til: litt musikk før jeg ser film..  Donkeyboy – Ambitions

Altså.. jeg fikk nettopp en epost fra en jeg ikke har noen peil på hvem er. Eneste grunnen til at jeg åpnet selve eposten var får å se hva personen eventuelt solgte, pleier å få kjempe masse av dem, uheldigvis… uansett.. her er den, oversatt:

“Håper du får denne i tide. Beklager at jeg ikke informerte deg om reisen min til Spania, for ett program. Jeg har hatt noen vanskligheter her fordi jeg har forlagt lommeboken min på vei til hotellet som inneholdt noen kontanter, kredit kort og andre verdi saker. Akkurat nå holder hotell ledelsen på passet mitt samt mine personlige eiendeler til jeg får betalt.
Jeg vil at du skal assistere meg i ett lite lån på $2,715 dollar (ca. 17,645 Nkr) for å få orden på hotell regningene og får å få meg hjem igjen. Jeg setter pris på hva du har råd til å assistere meg med. Jeg kommer til å refundere pengene til deg så snart jeg har kommer hjem. La meg få vite om du kan hjelpe så snart som overhode mulig.
For øyeblikket har jeg ingen telefon å nåes på.
Vær så snill å la meg få vite snarest.
Takk
Paul”
Mhm… joda, Paul… Jeg kan assistere deg… Jeg har for øyeblikket puttet 5000,- inn i CD/DVD brettet på PC’en  min. Regner med at pengene kommer til deg veldig snart.
Håper det hjelper.
IDIOT!!!!!!
Lene
ENGLISH!!!!
Mood: Spiffy =D
Listening to: A song that doesn’t want to change… Ok, chaned it. Pink – Please, don’t leave me
So yeah… I just got an email from someone I have no idea who is. The only reason I opened the email in the first place was to see what he was selling. I usually get loads of them, unfortunately… Anyways, here is it…
“Hope you get this on time. Sorry I didn’t inform you about my trip to the Spain for a program. I am having some difficulties here because i misplaced  my wallet on my way to the hotel which contained some cash, credit cards and few other valuables. Presently, my passport and personal belongings are been held down by  the hotel management pending when i make payment.

I will like you to assist me with a loan of $2,715 dollars to sort-out  my hotel bills and to get myself back home. I will appreciate whatever  you can afford to assist me with. I’ll refund the money back to you as soon as I return. Let me know if you can be of any help ASAP.
I currently don’t have a phone where i can be reached.
please let me know immediately.
Thanks
Paul”
Mhm… Yeah, Paul… I’ll help you out. Currently I’ve pushed 5000 Nkr (aprx. $770) into the CD/DVD tray in my computer, and they should be with you shortly.
Hope that helps… :3
MORON!!!!!
Lene

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Bert, the hunter of vampires… and werewolves, monsters and other strange creatures.

Posted on July 9, 2010 | Comments Off on Bert, the hunter of vampires… and werewolves, monsters and other strange creatures.

In this day and age one would think that figments of our imagination wouldn’t exist in our real lives. However, something had happened, not in an instant, but slowly, over years and years of young people being generally miserable, moody and reading strange sagas of various natures. The change happened in a way that seemed natural, in a way. One day these figments of our imagination made their appearance, little by little, making it seem…well…normal. There were a few that saw what was happening and vowed to stop it, but unfortunately they were deemed mad. Bert Nelson was one of these people. Some might have called him crazy, others hyper and some knew that he was off his rocker, but didn’t really care because he was really a good egg, despite the fact that they knew he had been waiting for the zombie apocalypse for a long time.
How Bert saw what was happening was easy to see, for him at least. More and more people died, either by having their blood drained or they were severely ravaged, often torn limb from limb. Bert never understood why anyone would want vampires and werewolves to walk our earth, but to each his own, he supposed.
When it became clean to the public what was going on they became desperate to try to rectify the situation, however, the monsters that hid under the beds of small children didn’t want to leave without a fight. And so there became a market for those who were called mad. Bert took it upon himself to kill as many oddities as he possibly could. Primarily he dealt with vampires, which was a good thing, because vampires, despite what most people think, are easy to kill. All you had to do was to remember the rules.

  1. Vampires don’t like garlic.
  2. They don’t like holy water either.
  3. Silver bullets don’t do shit
  4. They don’t, under any circumstances, sparkle.
    (Unless he stumbled upon an Edward, and boy did he have strange stories to tell. HE actually felt sorry for the vampires held captive by crazy women, known as cougars, and teenaged girls, and some boys, who had sprinkled sparkly things on them. The numbers of those poor souls were going up.)
  5. They don’t do daylight.
  6. They are super strong and fast
  7. 7. They can only be killed by driving a stake through their hearts and have their heads cut off.

If you remembered all of these rules, the job would be easy. But, not everything went according to plan all of the time. And Bert had the scars to prove it.
And now he had a job to do. He had been summoned to a place called Collinwood where a vampire had been harassing the residents. Apparently one of them had been bitten and there was a sense of urgency. Bert wasn’t worries. He knew that the hierarchy of vampirism worked. If a vampire bit a normal person, that person would be under the vampires spell for as long as the vampire was alive. Breaking that chain and all the links would be free.
Bert arrived at Collinwood with Angelica Stark, his sidekick. They were greeted at the door by a very frazzled looking Victoria Winters, the governess. She showed Bert and Angelica into the lounge and asked them to be seated before leaving the room to fetch the owner of the house.
-“What a charming place,” Angelica uttered in a tone seeping with sarcasm.
-“It is places like this that makes the imagination wander, Angie. I can feel there’s something wrong here, and not just this one vampire. It’s a very strong feeling,” Bert muttered as he saw down and placed his fedora hat on his lap. After a few minutes the double doors into the lounge opened and a man and a woman walked into the room followed by Victoria. The man looked peeved; he had white hair and made a b-line for the booze. Victoria introduced them as Roger Collins and Elizabeth Collins Stoddard. Mrs. Stoddard looked every bit as peeved as the other one, but the only difference was that she had a large helmet of dark hair. It was revealed that Mrs. Stoddard was the owner of the large mansion and that her mother, Roger, was staying there with his son, David. Bert soon found out why they were both looking so peeved. Victoria had, against her employer’s wishes, contacted Bert after one of the friends of the Collins’ had been bitten.
-“It is nonsense, utter nonsense. There are no such things as vampires!” Roger growled, sipping greedily at his drink.
-“I can assure, you, Mr. Collins, that vampires are quite real. Some are poor tormented souls, others are a true menace,” Bert started.
-“But it’s absurd!” Elizabeth interrupted.
-“Please, hear him out,” Victoria pleaded.
-“What do you plan to do, anyway?” Roger asked over the edge of his glass of bourbon.
-“First I need to find out where this being is keeping itself. Once I’ve figured that out, the rest should be easy,” Bert said and smiled.
-“I think it’s in the crypt,” Victoria said and waved her hand absentmindedly at the wall.
-“Well, that was easy,” Angelica laughed.
-“Maybe not, but we’ll find out soon,” Bert responded and got up. “If you would be so kind as to take to the crypt?” he added and looked at Victoria. She simply smiled and nodded.
-“Well, there’s no time like the present,” Angelica said and moved towards the door.
-“Do you mean that you don’t have to wait for dawn or dusk?” Robert asked.
-“That’s a common misunderstanding. Naturally, at night, the vampire will be out of its coffin, so no need to go looking then. But between sun-up and sun-down they are free game.” Bert said as he placed his hat on his head and touched the brim, bidding the Collins’ farewell.
Bert, Angelica and Victoria stepped out of the room and walked up the stairs to the second floor to see how the bite victim was holding up. The victim, Dr. Julia Hoffman, was lying on her bed, all pale and dramatic, with a shawl wrapped around her neck. Her red hair made her look even paler than she was. Bert leaned over her, pulled the shawl down revealing two puncture wounds on her neck.
-“She’s been bitten, alright,” Bert said and sucked his teeth.
-“Did you doubt it?” Angelica asked.
-“Of course not, but it’s nice to have things confirmed,” Bert said and started for the door. “Shall we?” he asked, holding it up.
They reached the crypt and were left there by Victoria who didn’t want to stick around. Bert and Angelica looked at each other, shrugged and stepped into the crypt. It was a typical crypt; dark, dank and dusty.
It didn’t take them long to find the coffin and not long to get started. Bert opened the lid of the coffin and revealed a resting vampire.
-“Stake,” Bert said and held out his hand. Angelica picked one out of her backpack and put it in his hand with an audible slap.
-“Mallet,” he added and held out the hand out again after having switched the stake to the other hand. Again Angelica rummaged through her backpack and pulled out a large mallet, and again she put it in his hand with an audible slap.
-“Thank you,” he mumbled and placed the stake over the vampire’s heart and with a heavy blow drive it into its chest. The vampire opened its eyes and looked shocked. Shrieking it started to flail, trying to get away from the pain. One final blow ended it suffering and it fell silent.
-“Such a shame. He was cute,” Angelica said and sighed.
-“Yeah, well, he’s dead now,” Bert said and wiped the blood of his hands.
-“Let’s go back to the house and see how the lady is going,” Angelica said and pulled out a large machete and cut the vampires head off.
-“Ugh, you always steal the best part of the job,” Bert moaned and started for the crypt door.
They went back to the mansion and stepped into the lounge where the brother and sister were still waiting, and they had been joined by a very lovely creature, Bert thought. Her name was Carolyn Stoddard, Elizabeth’s daughter.
-“Have no fear, fair maiden. The monster that haunts the nights has been killed,” Bert said and grinned a very silly grin, making Angelica cringe.
-“Sorry about that,” she said apologetically to everyone in the room.
-“I should think so,” Roger said dryly, sounding a bit intoxicated.
-Has anyone been up to check on Dr. Hoffman?” Bert asked, pulling himself together.
-“Mrs. Stoddard was just up there, and it seems the curse has been lifted. She needed rest, so she’s relaxing nicely now. She didn’t even want a doctor to have a look at her,” Victoria said and looked worried.
-“They rarely do,” Bert said and petted her arm.
Dusk had fallen upon the house before the duo finally made their way to the door to leave. But before they managed that, there was a knock at the front door. Victoria opened it and outside stood a tall, dark and mysterious looking man with a cane.
-“Barnabas, what are you doing here?” Elizabeth asked.
-“I heard that vampire hunters had arrived to help Julia. How did it go?” the man answered and looked at the vampire hunters.
-“Oh, Barnabas, I’m sorry. This is Bert Nelson and Angelica Stark. Mr. Nelson, Miss. Stark, this is Barnabas Collins. He came here recently from London.  They all greeted each other and shook hands.
-“Please, how is Julia doing?” Barnabas asked.
-“The vampire is dead so the curse should be lifted,” Bert said reassuringly.
-“Is that a fact? I’d like to see that for myself,” Barnabas said and walked towards the stairs.
-“Well, we’d better get going anyway. There are some giant problems in California we need to tend to,” Bert said and put his hat on.
-“What giant problem?” Roger asked.
-“like I said. Problems with giants,” Bert replied and grinned.

As they walked back to the car Bert turned to the large house and sighed.
-“What’s up, Bert? Did the lovely Miss. Stoddard capture your heart?” Angelica asked and giggled.
-“No, well yeah, but that’s not the issue. I’m afraid we’ll be back here sooner or later. That Barnabas guy is a vampire. Either the family knows it and don’t care or they don’t know and when they find out they most likely want him dead,” Bert said thoughtfully.
-“How can they not know?” Angelica uttered.
-“He struck me as a very smart man, Angie. As long as he doesn’t let anyone else know he’ll be able to live there forever. And as long as they don’t specifically ask me to kill him, I won’t press the subject,” Bert said as he got in the car. Angelica got into the car too and buckled her seatbelt.
-“But now we’d better get going. A giant awaits us,” Bert said and smiled as he started the car.

Comments Off on Bert, the hunter of vampires… and werewolves, monsters and other strange creatures.

Posted in Stories

Total Eclipse of the heart

Posted on June 29, 2010 | Comments Off on Total Eclipse of the heart

Alle kjenner jo til Bonnie Tyler’s slager “Total Eclypse of the heart”. Hvis du ikke kjenner til sangen, SKAM DEG!!!!
Uansett…. Jeg og min veldig gode venninne, Ellie, fra England, snakket om nettopp denne sangen, og om hvordan den ville ha blitt dersom den ble sunget på norsk. Så jeg brukte Google Translate for å oversette sangen… Her er resultatet:

Behandlingstid, nå og da får jeg en
litt ensom og du aldri kommer rundt
Turnaround, Av og til får jeg en
litt lei av å lytte til lyden av mine tårer
Turnaround, Av og til får jeg en
litt nervøse at det beste i alle de årene har gått
Turnaround, Av og til får jeg en
litt skrekkslagne og så ser jeg ser i øynene
Turnaround lyse øyne, Av og
så jeg faller fra hverandre
Turnaround lyse øyne, Av og
så jeg faller fra hverandre

Turnaround, Av og til får jeg en
litt rastløs og jeg drømmer om noe vilt
Turnaround, Av og til får jeg en
litt hjelpeløse, og jeg ligger som et barn i armene
Turnaround, Av og til får jeg en
litt sint, og jeg vet at jeg må komme ut og gråte
Turnaround, Av og til får jeg en
litt skrekkslagne men så ser jeg ser i øynene
Turnaround lyse øyne, Av og
så jeg faller fra hverandre
Turnaround lyse øyne, Av og
så jeg faller fra hverandre

Og jeg trenger deg nå i kveld
Og jeg trenger deg mer enn noen gang
Og hvis du bare holder meg fast
Vi kommer til å holde på for alltid
Og vi vil bare være å gjøre det riktig
Årsak vi aldri vil bli feil sammen
Vi kan ta det med til slutten av linjen
Din kjærlighet er som en skygge på meg hele tiden
Jeg vet ikke hva jeg skal gjøre og jeg er alltid i mørket
Vi lever i en kruttønne og ga ut gnister
Jeg virkelig trenger deg i kveld
Forever’s gonna start i kveld
Forever’s gonna start i kveld

En gang i tiden jeg var forelsket
Men nå er jeg bare faller fra hverandre
Det er ingenting jeg kan gjøre
Totalt Eclipse of the Heart
En gang i tiden var det lys i mitt liv
Men nå er det bare kjærlighet i mørket
Ingenting jeg kan si
Totalt Eclipse of the Heart

Behandlingstid lyse øyne
Behandlingstid lyse øyne
Behandlingstid, nå og da vet jeg
Du vil aldri bli den gutten du alltid at du ønsket å være
Behandlingstid, nå og da vet jeg
vil du alltid være den eneste gutten som ville ha meg slik at jeg er
Behandlingstid, nå og da vet jeg
det er ingen i universet som magisk og wonderous som du
Behandlingstid, nå og da vet jeg
det er ingenting bedre, og det er ikke noe jeg bare ikke ville gjøre
Turnaround lyse øyne, Av og
så jeg faller fra hverandre
Turnaround lyse øyne, Av og
så jeg faller fra hverandre

Og jeg trenger deg nå i kveld
Og jeg trenger deg mer enn noen gang
Og hvis du bare holder meg fast
Vi kommer til å holde på for alltid
Og vi vil bare være å gjøre det riktig
Årsak vi aldri vil bli feil sammen
Vi kan ta det med til slutten av linjen
Din kjærlighet er som en skygge på meg hele tiden
Jeg vet ikke hva jeg skal gjøre og jeg er alltid i mørket
Vi lever i en kruttønne og ga ut gnister
Jeg virkelig trenger deg i kveld
Forever’s gonna start i kveld
Forever’s gonna start i kveld

En gang i tiden jeg var forelsket
Men nå er jeg bare faller fra hverandre
Det er ingenting jeg kan gjøre
Totalt Eclipse of the Heart
En gang i tiden var det lys i mitt liv
Men nå er det bare kjærlighet i mørket
Ingenting jeg kan si
Totalt Eclipse of the Heart

…prøv å syng den, da vel… XD
Så bestemte jeg meg for å oversette den tilbake til engelsk. Resultatet kommer nedenfor… du kan jo prøve å synge den også…

Everyone knows Bonnie Tyler’s hit “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, right? If you don’t.. SHAME ON YOU!!!!
Anyways… my good friend, Ellie, from England, and I were talking about this song and wondered how it would be to sing it in norwegian. So I decided to translate it into norwegian using Google Translate… The result is above… and then I decided to translate it back into english again… result below…

Processing time, now and then I get a
a little bit lonely and you never come around
Turn Around, Sometimes I get a
a bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turn Around, Sometimes I get a
a little bit nervous that the best in all the years have gone
Turn Around, Sometimes I get a
a little bit terrified and then I see looking in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

Turn Around, Sometimes I get a
a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turn Around, Sometimes I get a
a little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in her arms
Turn Around, Sometimes I get a
a little angry, and I know that I need to get out and cry
Turn Around, Sometimes I get a
a little bit terrified but then I see looking in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you just hold me tight
We are going to keep forever
And we will only have to do it right
Cause we will never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all the time
I do not know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We live in a powder keg and giving out sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was in love
But now I’m only falling apart
There is nothing I can do
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now it’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
Total Eclipse of the Heart

Processing bright eyes
Processing bright eyes
Processing time, now and then I know
You will never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Processing time, now and then I know
you will always be the only boy who wanted me so that I am
Processing time, now and then I know
there is none in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Processing time, now and then I know
there is nothing better, and it is not something I just would not do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you just hold me tight
We are going to keep forever
And we will only have to do it right
Cause we will never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all the time
I do not know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We live in a powder keg and giving out sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was in love
But now I’m only falling apart
There is nothing I can do
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now it’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
Total Eclipse of the Heart

Go ahead… try to sing along… lol

Lene

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Posted in Blog