Cloverfield

**SPOILER**
THIS MOVIE IS CRAP!!!!!

I think I might have written a review of this one before, but it’s so crap it deserves another viewing…

The only cool thing about this movie is when the one chick explodes. But honestly, it’s like… if I watch this movie I’ll have wasted like 80 some minutes of my life, and I’ll never get them back.. If you’re anything like me and you have to see the monster to be scared, you are going to be SO disappointed. The monster… you barely get to see it, and when it’s in full view it’s out of focus. That’s mainly because of the camera dude, Hud, is total crap camera dude. Honestly!!! If you come face to face with a fucking monster that has just invaded your city AND killed a friend and you get a chanse to film the fucking thing, YOU DON’T FILM YOUR FRIENDS BEING “SCARED”!!!! unless, of course, you’re a MORON!!! (Things are not looking good for you, Hud).
Ok, so I’ll talk alittle about the movie. It starts with a home video, if I’m not too mistaken. Happy man, happy woman and then a party. Someone screws up. Happy man becomes unhappy man. The only thing I’, envious of is that the guy, ex-happy, get to escape it all and go to Japan. Well, that’s was the plan.. or I’ve totally fucked up the story. Not that it matters. The story is weak and doesn’t really matter or worth taking a notise of. It slowly and lazily trotts along, absentmindedly dropping hints of nothing interesting what so ever all through the movie.
Well, anyway… At the party happy woman leaves becaise of something only a gossip would find interesting and then suddenly somethings, people get scared and run. And they run and run and at a bridge something smashes it with its tail. People get scared and run and run and finally they calm the fuck down. Then they figure out that they are gonna pick up happy woman at her flat. Distressed phonecall “Zomg, I’m trapped. Zomg, I’m gonna die” bitch moan. They then come almost face to face with the monster. I say almost because you can’t see shit! Well… legg and an arm…. But legs and arms do not a monster, at least a crappy one, make. So they escape into the underground subway and decide to walk to where happy woman lives. On the way they get attacked by mini monsters and one of them get bitten. That’s about the only exciting bit so far. They come to a mall or something and the army gets them. They are taken away to a make-shift hospital thingie where loads of mamed, mangled and dead people are being kept/helped. There is a scuffle and suddenly the bitten chick gets taken behind a screen while people are crying “We have a bite!” or something like that… and she explodes.
Again… only exciting bit…
After that it goes down hill. The stuff that happens are boring. They save happy woman from her flat where she’s been impaled, and they are taken away by the army in helicopters. But the monster isn’t finished hazzling this small group of people. And while all the escapees are happy, the monster makes them all crash.
The camera guy gets eaten, not that the filming improves a bit after that…
To be quite honest… I’ve lost interst at this point. The two remaining people say their goodbyes to the camera and I think an a-bomb goes off a few blocks away from them.
And then you see more home movie stuff and in the background you can see the monster splashing in water. Weather it came from the deep or from space I don’t know… and I don’t care.
Yeah… so…. do yourself a favour… watch something else… interesting…
Oh, and the shaking hand camera syndrom thingie supposed to make you feel seasick… it doesn’t… it’s just annoying.. and you want to throw shit at the screen…

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