This was the movie that made me interested in Harry Potter… or rather… the whole wizarding world… and I think you’ll see along the way just what made me interested… ^_^
Anyways… here be spoilers…
It all starts with… me changing from Norwegian voices to English.
So… clouds… loads of them… and the WB emblem hovering in the air only to give away to the title. The view widens from the clouds to a view of Surrey and then panning in to Private Drive. And then to number ? Private Drive and up to a bedroom… Oh… Harry got a bedroom now… How nice of his aunt and uncle. Harry is sitting at his desk looking at pictures of his parents and his friends, and in her cage, Hedwig is being an ass. From downstairs Uncle Vernon calls the troops together. Then he yells at Harry for a bit to get that ruddy bird of his quiet and then starts to instruct the rest about how to act when people come over. (Petunia was better looking in the Super Mario Bros. movie…) Harry knows he has to be quiet like a really quiet thing, of Uncle Vernon will sit on him as punishment, and that WOULD be horrible. He walks back up to his room and WTF??? THING JUMPING ON HIS BED!!!
It turns out that this thing is a house elf and his name is Dobby. He tells Harry he mustn’t go back to Hoggies or something bad will happen. (which is kind of the plot… kinda…. But the darn house elf won’t talk… so… KILL DOBBY!) Harry asks what will happen, but Dobby won’t say and starts to smash his own head in. Gawd, no wonder Harry/Daniel is crap in these scenes. It must be hard to talk to something that’s not there. But then they should have good experience with Emma… <.<
Anyways… Dobby makes a great deal about how this is the plot and still won’t say… not even when he produces the letters he has stolen from Harry before he even got them will Harry kill the ratchet thing! Dobby runs out of the bedroom and downstairs levitates a cake magically and drops it on the head of Uncle Vernon’s guest… see… you should have killed it, Harry…
Uncle Vernon puts bars on Harry’s window as a result.
That night, I think… they aren’t too specific with time here… a flying car appears outside the window, and in the drivers seat is Fred… or George… and with them, Ron. They take Harry back to their place, The Burrow, where Harry sees many strange things. And he realizes… Harry <3 magic.
Then out of the blue mother Weasley appears, shouting her head off, making the boys, save Harry, feel like crap. (I think she might be bi-polar)
Ginny comes down, while they are eating breakfast, sees Harry and runs back up… Ginny <3 Harry.
Father Weasley comes home and is dumb. He, of all people, should know who Harry Potter is, seeing as there is a past and stuff.
Then a dumb owl flies into the window and they are off to Diagon Alley to get what they need for school. They will go by Floo Powder. Ron goes first and says it quite clearly “Diagon Alley” yet, Harry manages to somehow mishear this and says “Diagonally” instead *slaps forehead*. He ends up at the wrong side of Diagon Alley town, in a shop… the name escapes me right now… but it has loads of cool stuff… Harry manages to get out of the shop without breaking anything and runs into Hagrid, who takes him to the right place where they meet ARGH!!! HAIRY BEAST… oh, it’s Hermione (actually less hairy, but more alive caterpillar eyebrows). Hagrid leaves them and Hermione drags Harry to the book store, Florish and Blots, where the rest of the Weasley’s are waiting. They see the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher there, Gilderoy Lockhart, who is a pompous git, really. In the rafters Draco Malfoy is looming, he then decides to verbally abuse the Weasley’s. Enter *fan girl squee* LUCIUS MALFOY!!! Draco’s dad, and all around sneaky guy… (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3 <3 <3) Misses everything he says, and everyone else, especially Hermione. *drools*
(wakes up from Lucius induced coma when Harry and Ron gets the shit kicked out of them by the Whomping Willow at Hogwarts.
*sighs* >w< Snape catches them, gives them hell, but Dumbledore saves them from being expelled… whatever… <3 Grrr…. give em hell, Snapie poo…
First class next day/first day is Herbology. They have to re-pot mandrakes. Blah blah blah STFU, HERMIONE!!!
And then lunch.
Ron, who broke his wand knocking it against the steering wheel of the car trying to make it stop, is trying to mend it with magical tape. But they all get interrupted by mail call, and Ron, who is ever so lucky, gets a howler from his mother.
Next, Defence Against the Dark Arts… Enter Gilderoy Lockhart with his *wink-tooth-ping* dazzlin’ da ladies… And he is… basically… full of himself, and he stupidly releases Cornish Pixies… oh no… the horror… <.<
Neville gets hung up in the chandelier, Lockhart scarpers and Hermione saves the day… AS ALWAYS!
Then Quidditch… or… for Slytherin anyway. Ron tries to curse Draco for calling Hermione a Mudblood which backfires and he vomits slugs. They take him to Hagrids place just in case he has some anti-slug vomiting potion at his place… cause everyone knows his wand backfires all the time… <.< especially since he doesn’t have one… officially…
Harry being… Harry, asks what the heck a Mudblood is, and Hagrid explains… well, Hermione explains, really, but she doesn’t count. And he, Hagrid, comforts Hermione and stuff… I don’t know why he even bothers, cause YOU ARE A MUDBLOOD, HERMIONE!
Harry has detention with Lockhart, for the flying-a-car-to-school-and-crash-it-into-a-tree thing, and as they sign autographs, Harry starts hearing voices. After detention is done he runs into Ron and Hermione and tells them all about it… (Don’t over act, Emma… It’s like… attack of the giant caterpillar eyebrows… glad I didn’t watch it on a wide screen TV… jeesh!)
They walk along and find a message in the wall… along with a petrified Mrs Norris. The message reads along the lines of “The Chamber of Secrets has been reopened. Enemies of the heir beware” and everyone thinks Harry did it. Although, that in itself is daft! Anyways. Mr. Filtch sees his petrified cat and blames Harry, the rest of the teaching staff arrives, Lockhart sees the petrified cat and gushes about how, if he had been there, could have saved the cat and as Mr Filtch wants to see harry hanged, Snape (!!!! O.O) defends Harry. Harry and the other two are sent on their marry way, and Hermione says it’s not good, even for wizards, to hear voices… *slaps*
Transfiguration next morning, I think… Hermione asks Professor McGonagall about the Chamber, and she tells the story. And I can’t be bothered to go into it here. If you haven’t watched the movie, then you probably haven’t lived…
On the trios way to wherever, they talk about the possibilities of who the heir of Slytherin is. Ron thinks Draco, but Hermione soon blows out that theory, but she does come up with a cunning plan… like… make polyjuice potion to change into Crabbe and Goyle so that they can question Draco without him suspecting anything.
QUIDDITCH MATCH!!! Gryffindor versus Slytherin.
*wants to fast forward*
Boooring… OH!!! *fan girl squeeeee*
LUCIUS!!!! <3 <3 <3
*wakes up from Lucius induced coma as Harry manhandles Dobby in the hospital wing after having his arm de-boned by Lockhart. Dobby disappears as Dumbledore along with McGonagall enters with a petrified student. Harry overhears Dumbledore say that the Chamber has indeed been re-opened.
The trio are in the girl’s bathroom on the third floor, I think, where no one goes because of Moaning Myrtle, the really annoying, high pitched shrieking ghost. And they make the potion there because of her… and no one ever goes into that bathroom… according to Hermione, that is…
Then they have Duelling Club, hosted by Lockhart and Snape, the magical duo… During this fun stuff, Harry finds out he’s a parcel mouth (can talk to snakes… as he already knew…) and everything thinks he’s the heir of Slytherin… STFU HERMIONE!
Later, while everyone is scared of him, Harry decides to go to the common room where no one will be ogling him annoyingly, and while on the way there he bumps into a petrified Nearly Headless Nick and some guy… *shrugs*
Mr Filtch catches Harry and runs to McGonagall to tell on him, and she in turns takes Harry to Dumbledore’s office. While there Fawkes, Dumbledore’s bird, catches on fire, and it in turn makes Harry very upset. Dumbledore tells him that he did nothing wrong, that Phoenix’s burn, are reborn from the ashes and so on. And then there was something about Dumbledore wanting to know if Harry was wondering about something, but he wasn’t, so no biggie.
Suddenly the snow is falling and Christmas has come around. The Polyjuice potion is done and the trio are planning nifty ways to get Crabbe and Goyle out of the way so that they can take their clothes etc. Hermione cleverly uses cupcakes…. with sleeping draft….
[rant]Like… when you go to a magic school, I would think that if you find floating food, you would refrain from eating it, seeing as no one knows what exactly is inside it… How stupid can you get??? [/rant]. That done, they take the potion, change, do their thing, find out nothing special, go back to Hermione, who didn’t follow Ron and Harry, who turns out to have turned into a cat… =^_^= and she is then taken to hospital.
Ron and Harry are discussing her while walking up a flight of stair and find a flood, which leads to Harry finding a diary. And the moaning ghost chick is still annoying.
Harry writes in the diary and is taken 50 years back in time to when the Chamber was last opened and finds the owner of the diary… *rawr* Tom Marvolo Riddle. He, turns out, wasn’t such a nice guy after all. He was the reason why Hagrid got thrown out of Hogwarts and got blamed for opening the chamber. And something about the spider Aragog…
Hermione gets well, they talk about Hagrid opening the Chamber 50 years ago and Hagrid talk to them about being careful, none the wiser. As they are talking Neville runs up to Harry. They go back to the dorm and all of Harry’s stuff is spread all over the place. And they took the diary.
Quidditch game gets cancelled due to fear and Hermione turns up petrified… YAY!!!! FINALLY!! (and now starts the GOOD part of the movie)
McGonagall informs the Gryffindor’s that no one is to wander the castle, all new rules and stuff. But that has never stopped Ron and Harry in the past, so why should it now? They go to Hagrid’s place to talk to him about what happened, but before they get an explanation out of him, Dumbledore arrives with Fudge, the Minister for Magic. They talk about what has happened and stuff and and and…. *fan girl squeeee* LUCIUS!!!! <3 <3 <3 XD
hee hee hee… “You call this a house?”
*Lucius induced coma ends when Ron and Harry get out of the Dark Forest with the car after being fighting spiders… Oh, and they talked to Aragog… Oh, and Hagrid got sent to Azkaban… OH… and Dumbledore is no longer Headmaster… :3
Ron and Harry visit Hermione, who is giving the best performance EVER!, is still petrified. Harry finds a note in her hand which contains LOADS of clues, like… naming the thing; a Basilisk, clues about how it moves around in the pipes and how spiders fleeing from it etc. They go to talk to someone, but before they get that far they find out that Ginny has been kidnapped. They go to see Lockhart, and when they find him they discover he is a big fraud. After that there is a lot of yelling and professornapping. They go to the girls bathroom, jump down the snake shoot thing into the for-Chamber, where Lockhart grabs Ron’s wand which backfires and he looses his memory. Harry goes on alone, finds the chamber and Ginny… and Tom… and the Basilisk. Harry runs, the Basilisk gets blinded by Fawkes, who gets called to the Chamber when Harry can’t stop bragging about how wonderful Dumbledore is, and drops the Sorting Hat before Harry’s feet and which will later reveal Gryffindor’s sword. He gets the sword and uses it to stab the Basilisk, thus killing it, but Harry gets fanged by it, staggers down to see how Ginny is and uses the Basilisk tooth to stab the diary. Tom Riddle’s ghost dies, Ginny wakes up, Fawkes cries on Harry and saves his life, and all is well. Fawkes flies all of them to safety… The only thing that baffles me is that Lockhart says “It’s like magic”. An odd statement, especially since you have just lost your memory and shouldn’t know what magic is…
Ron and Harry talk to Dumbledore at his office and gets “yelled” at and then praised. Ron leaves to send email owl to Azkaban to release Hagrid. Harry talk to Dumbledore about everything that happened, the similarities between him and Riddle and so on… *fan girl squee* Lucius enters, argues with Dumbledore, kicks Dobby and leaves. Harry follows and returns diary (STFU DOBBY!) It’s odd that a bright man like Lucius would use a spell like Avada when your at a school like Hogwarts with the headmaster of said school within shooting distance. Even the book says that Lucius only starts to say a SPELL… it could have been a shoe tying spell for all we know… tsk tsk tsk WB *wags finger, drool and movie vanishes in a haze of Lucius*
Something about Hermione being OK, like who cares… Hagrid returns… blah blah blah…
The End
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